1 00:00:02,833 --> 00:00:04,200 MY BODY'S TAKEN OVER ME. 2 00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:06,300 IT'S DESTROYING MY LIFE. 3 00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:07,467 AND THIS PURE HELL. 4 00:00:07,467 --> 00:00:08,833 IT REALLY IS. 5 00:00:08,833 --> 00:00:11,867 ** 6 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,467 Man: NOT FOR ONE MINUTE THAT I THOUGHT MY LIFE 7 00:00:17,467 --> 00:00:19,100 WOULD END UP LIKE THIS. 8 00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:20,633 OW! MY LEGS! 9 00:00:20,633 --> 00:00:23,600 Ashley: I'M SO FAR GONE. 10 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:26,633 Woman I ABSOLUTELY NEED HELP, 11 00:00:26,633 --> 00:00:28,967 OR I AM GONNA DIE. 12 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,633 -I CAN'T DO THIS. -I'M RIGHT UNDER YOU. 13 00:00:35,633 --> 00:00:38,867 -[ Crying ] I NEED OVER! -YOU'RE FINE. YOU'RE FINE. 14 00:00:43,933 --> 00:00:45,767 Woman I FEEL LIKE I LET MY KIDS DOWN. 15 00:00:45,767 --> 00:00:47,433 INSTEAD OF ME TAKING CARE OF THEM, 16 00:00:47,433 --> 00:00:49,067 THEY'VE BEEN TAKING CARE OF ME. 17 00:00:49,067 --> 00:00:51,967 IT'S YOU -- YOU ARE THE ONE KILLING HIM. 18 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:57,800 I'M HERE TO HELP YOU SAVE YOUR LIFE. 19 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:01,100 NOT TO HELP YOU TO JUSTIFY KILLING YOURSELF FASTER. 20 00:01:01,100 --> 00:01:03,733 SCREW THIS WHOLE PROCESS. ALL RIGHT. 21 00:01:03,733 --> 00:01:06,733 -- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com 22 00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:09,733 CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS 23 00:01:09,733 --> 00:01:12,433 ** 24 00:01:12,433 --> 00:01:14,600 Tanisha: SOMETIMES THE ROAD TO RECOVERY 25 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:18,667 IS A LOT LONGER THAN YOU EVER REALIZED, 26 00:01:18,667 --> 00:01:22,167 AND YOU HAVE TO DECIDE HOW BAD YOU REALLY WANT IT. 27 00:01:28,067 --> 00:01:31,067 ** 28 00:01:35,833 --> 00:01:40,100 [ GROANS ] 29 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:43,767 [ EXHALES SHARPLY ] 30 00:01:43,767 --> 00:01:48,900 MY WEIGHT HAS ALMOST TAKEN EVERYTHING FROM ME. 31 00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:50,800 MY BODY'S TAKEN OVER ME. 32 00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:52,833 IT'S DESTROYING MY LIFE. 33 00:01:52,833 --> 00:01:54,867 I FEEL LIKE IT'S TAKEN EVERYTHING AWAY FROM ME -- 34 00:01:54,867 --> 00:01:55,800 EVERYTHING. 35 00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:01,467 AND I FEEL LIKE I'M IMPRISONED IN MY OWN BODY. 36 00:02:01,467 --> 00:02:03,500 I DO FEEL LIKE A CAGED ANIMAL. 37 00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:04,533 I DO. 38 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:09,400 AND THERE'S SOMETHING THAT'S ALWAYS HURTING. 39 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:13,100 MY KNEES WANT TO BUCKLE, MY BACK FEEL LIKE IT'S BROKEN. 40 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:19,300 AND IT'S JUST EXCRUCIATING TO EVEN GET UP. 41 00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:24,867 I CAN'T EVEN MAKE IT TO THE BATHROOM TO START MY DAY. 42 00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:31,833 JUST SOMETHING THAT SIMPLE, 43 00:02:31,833 --> 00:02:33,400 USING THE RESTROOM, IS A STRUGGLE. 44 00:02:36,067 --> 00:02:37,667 OW. 45 00:02:37,667 --> 00:02:42,100 I'M TRAPPED IN THIS BODY AND MY HOME, 46 00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:45,567 AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITHOUT HELP ANYMORE. 47 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:50,167 SO MY HUSBAND EMPTIES MY BEDPAN WHEN I'M DONE 48 00:02:50,167 --> 00:02:55,767 AND BRINGS ME WATER AND SOAP SO I CAN TRY AND BATHE MYSELF. 49 00:02:55,767 --> 00:02:58,433 Troy: TANISHA WANTS TO GET OUT THE BED, 50 00:02:58,433 --> 00:03:00,633 BUT SHE SITS IN THE BED ALL DAY 51 00:03:00,633 --> 00:03:02,067 BECAUSE SHE'S OVERWEIGHT, 52 00:03:02,067 --> 00:03:04,133 AND SHE HATE BEING LIKE THAT. 53 00:03:04,133 --> 00:03:06,400 AND THAT MAKES ME FEEL SAD. 54 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,633 Tanisha: MY HUSBAND IS THE ONLY ONE I LET HELP ME, 55 00:03:11,633 --> 00:03:15,300 BECAUSE I NEVER WANT THAT TO BE MY KIDS' JOBS. 56 00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:22,167 I TRY TO WASH MYSELF AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, 57 00:03:22,167 --> 00:03:27,967 BUT I GET TIRED, AND I DON'T EVEN WANT TO MOVE. 58 00:03:27,967 --> 00:03:33,900 SO I CAN'T COMPLETELY DO IT ON MY OWN, 59 00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:35,800 AND I HAVE TO HAVE HELP. 60 00:03:38,100 --> 00:03:40,467 IT'S HUMILIATING. 61 00:03:40,467 --> 00:03:41,967 WHEN YOU HAVE TO HAVE SOMEONE 62 00:03:41,967 --> 00:03:44,867 REACH 30 SPOTS THAT YOU CAN'T DO, 63 00:03:44,867 --> 00:03:45,967 IT'S HARD. 64 00:03:45,967 --> 00:03:47,567 [ GRUNTS ] 65 00:03:50,667 --> 00:03:51,967 I FEEL LIKE A CHILD, 66 00:03:51,967 --> 00:03:56,100 BECAUSE SOMEONE HAS TO HELP BATHE ME. 67 00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:59,200 AND WHEN YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING FOR YOURSELF, IT'S HELL. 68 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,567 THIS IS PURE HELL. IT REALLY IS. 69 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:04,833 AND I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE 70 00:04:04,833 --> 00:04:08,267 THAT I LET MYSELF GET TO A PLACE LIKE THIS. 71 00:04:08,267 --> 00:04:10,067 I FEEL DISGUSTED. 72 00:04:12,300 --> 00:04:14,067 [ SNIFFLES ] 73 00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:20,700 AND I ALWAYS FEEL, LIKE, 74 00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:24,500 "WHAT COULD I HAVE DONE DIFFERENT TO PREVENT IT?" 75 00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:26,067 [ GROANS, GRUNTS ] 76 00:04:26,067 --> 00:04:28,567 AND I JUST NEVER WOULD HAVE IMAGINED 77 00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:30,867 THIS IS WHAT MY LIFE WOULD END UP LIKE. 78 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:37,967 WHEN I WAS REALLY YOUNG, 79 00:04:37,967 --> 00:04:41,367 I DIDN'T REALLY STRUGGLE WITH MY WEIGHT. 80 00:04:41,367 --> 00:04:43,367 BUT I DIDN'T HAVE A HAPPY CHILDHOOD. 81 00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:45,733 I NEVER GOT TO EVEN HAVE A CHILDHOOD. 82 00:04:48,233 --> 00:04:51,933 MY MOM STRUGGLED WITH ADDICTION TO ALCOHOL AND DRUGS, 83 00:04:51,933 --> 00:04:54,167 AND HER BOYFRIEND WAS A VIOLENT ADDICT, 84 00:04:54,167 --> 00:04:57,367 AND HE WOULD TAKE HIS ANGER OUT ON ME. 85 00:04:57,367 --> 00:05:00,700 BUT I ENDED UP MOVING TO LIVE WITH MY GRANDPARENTS. 86 00:05:04,767 --> 00:05:07,133 AND I WAS HAPPY FOR A BIT, 87 00:05:07,133 --> 00:05:11,600 BUT IT WASN'T MUCH BETTER LIVING WITH THEM, 88 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,500 BECAUSE WHEN I WAS 9, 89 00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:16,367 I WAS MOLESTED BY MY GRANDFATHER, 90 00:05:16,367 --> 00:05:18,800 AND THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO TO STOP IT. 91 00:05:22,167 --> 00:05:26,233 AND THAT'S WHEN I STARTED TO RUN TO FOOD TO FIND PEACE, 92 00:05:26,233 --> 00:05:30,667 'CAUSE WHEN I ATE, NO ONE WAS HURTING ME. 93 00:05:30,667 --> 00:05:32,700 SO, I WENT BACK TO MY MOM'S HOUSE, 94 00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:36,300 AND I STAYED WITH MY MOM PERMANENTLY. 95 00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:39,567 BUT SHE HAD DIFFERENT PEOPLE LIVING IN THE HOUSE WITH US, 96 00:05:41,767 --> 00:05:45,067 AND I WAS MOLESTED BY ONE OF HER BOYFRIENDS. 97 00:05:45,067 --> 00:05:49,067 SO I FELT LIKE I COULDN'T CONTROL WHO TOUCHED MY BODY. 98 00:05:49,067 --> 00:05:50,567 'NISHA HAD TO GROW UP FAST. 99 00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:52,700 SHE HAD TO GROW UP BASICALLY WATCHING HERSELF. 100 00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:55,900 SHE DIDN'T REALLY HAVE A CHILDHOOD. 101 00:05:55,900 --> 00:05:59,600 IT BREAKS MY HEART. 102 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:02,900 Tanisha: SO, I STARTED STAYING OUT AT PARTIES WHEN I WAS 12, 103 00:06:02,900 --> 00:06:05,667 BECAUSE I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO GO HOME, 104 00:06:05,667 --> 00:06:07,767 BUT ONE NIGHT WHEN I WAS OUT, 105 00:06:07,767 --> 00:06:14,067 A MAN CAME AND PULLED ME BEHIND THE APARTMENT BUILDING, 106 00:06:14,067 --> 00:06:17,100 AND HE RAPED ME ON TOP OF THE AIR-CONDITIONING UNIT. 107 00:06:19,833 --> 00:06:21,900 AND I TOLD MY MOM AT ONE POINT, 108 00:06:21,900 --> 00:06:25,400 AND SHE KIND OF MADE ME FEEL LIKE IT WAS MY FAULT. 109 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:26,467 I FELT LIKE A PARENT 110 00:06:26,467 --> 00:06:28,567 WAS SUPPOSED TO SHIELD ME FROM ALL THIS. 111 00:06:28,567 --> 00:06:29,900 YOU WAS SUPPOSED TO PROTECT ME, 112 00:06:29,900 --> 00:06:31,967 AND THEN WHEN I'M TELLING YOU THAT THIS IS GOING ON 113 00:06:31,967 --> 00:06:34,533 AND YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, 114 00:06:34,533 --> 00:06:38,900 THAT'S GONNA INSTANTLY MAKE ME DRAW BACK. 115 00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:41,867 AND SO I ATE TO DROWN OUT EVERYTHING ELSE. 116 00:06:41,867 --> 00:06:43,833 AND BY THE TIME I STARTED HIGH SCHOOL, 117 00:06:43,833 --> 00:06:46,267 I WAS AROUND 180 POUNDS. 118 00:06:48,267 --> 00:06:50,867 THE WEIGHT GAIN DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER ME AT THE TIME, 119 00:06:50,867 --> 00:06:52,067 BECAUSE I FELT LIKE, 120 00:06:52,067 --> 00:06:53,667 "OKAY, IF I'M BIG THEY'RE NOT GONNA LIKE ME, 121 00:06:53,667 --> 00:06:54,800 THEY'RE NOT GONNA BE ATTRACTED, 122 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:57,567 THEY'RE NOT GONNA WANT TO TOUCH ON ME. 123 00:06:57,567 --> 00:07:01,567 BUT IT STARTED TO ATTRACT MEN WHO WANTED ME FOR MY SIZE. 124 00:07:01,567 --> 00:07:04,100 AND WHEN I WAS 15, I WAS DATING SOMEONE, 125 00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:06,633 AND I GOT PREGNANT. 126 00:07:10,367 --> 00:07:11,833 AND DURING THE PREGNANCY, 127 00:07:11,833 --> 00:07:14,500 I PUT ON ANOTHER 40 TO 50 POUNDS 128 00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:17,767 AND WAS AROUND 220. 129 00:07:17,767 --> 00:07:19,167 AND WHEN I HIT THAT WEIGHT, 130 00:07:19,167 --> 00:07:22,567 I WAS JUST DISGUSTED WITH MYSELF. 131 00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:26,867 SO FOR THE NEXT FEW YEARS, I WAS ACTUALLY BULIMIC, 132 00:07:26,867 --> 00:07:30,767 AND I LOST AROUND 70 POUNDS DURING THAT TIME. 133 00:07:30,767 --> 00:07:32,233 WHEN I WAS 24, 134 00:07:32,233 --> 00:07:36,833 I GOT PREGNANT WITH MY SECOND BABY, 135 00:07:36,833 --> 00:07:38,400 AND AS THE PREGNANCY WENT ON, 136 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:41,533 I STARTED TO HAVE A LOT OF COMPLICATIONS, 137 00:07:41,533 --> 00:07:44,133 AND I WASN'T GONNA DO ANYTHING TO HURT MY CHILD, 138 00:07:44,133 --> 00:07:48,367 SO I DIDN'T FORCE MYSELF TO THROW UP ANYMORE. 139 00:07:48,367 --> 00:07:52,200 AND I PROBABLY PUT ON 100 POUNDS IN THE FOLLOWING FEW MONTHS. 140 00:07:55,233 --> 00:07:57,133 AT SEVEN MONTHS INTO MY PREGNANCY, 141 00:07:57,133 --> 00:07:58,767 THINGS GOT SO BAD, 142 00:07:58,767 --> 00:08:02,400 I HAD TO GO ON BED REST UNTIL THE BABY WAS BORN. 143 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:06,067 MY WEIGHT JUST WENT OUT OF CONTROL, 144 00:08:06,067 --> 00:08:09,700 AND I FOUND MYSELF AT 25 OVER 500 POUNDS, 145 00:08:09,700 --> 00:08:10,967 AND I WAS SO DEPRESSED, 146 00:08:10,967 --> 00:08:14,067 BECAUSE MY BODY WAS WORSE THAN EVER. 147 00:08:14,067 --> 00:08:15,067 SO I COULDN'T GET UP, 148 00:08:15,067 --> 00:08:17,300 AND I STAYED BEDRIDDEN FOR A WHILE. 149 00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:24,167 AND I KEPT EATING AND GAINING. 150 00:08:24,167 --> 00:08:29,900 SO, I ONLY SAW ONE WAY OUT, AND THAT WAS TO KILL MYSELF. 151 00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:33,067 SO I SWALLOWED A BUNCH OF PILLS. 152 00:08:33,067 --> 00:08:34,767 BUT AS SOON AS I DID, 153 00:08:34,767 --> 00:08:37,600 I REGRETTED IT AND MADE MYSELF THROW UP. 154 00:08:43,900 --> 00:08:46,567 SO, I WANTED TO TURN MY LIFE AROUND, 155 00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:49,533 BUT I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, 156 00:08:49,533 --> 00:08:51,567 SO I GAVE MY LIFE OVER TO GOD, 157 00:08:51,567 --> 00:08:54,133 AND I RELIED ON HIM DURING THIS TIME, 158 00:08:54,133 --> 00:08:56,967 AND I WAS ABLE TO START TO GET UP AND MOVE AROUND. 159 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:03,067 AND THEN THINGS STARTED TO GET A LITTLE BETTER 160 00:09:03,067 --> 00:09:06,900 WHEN I MET TROY IN AN ONLINE CHAT ROOM. 161 00:09:06,900 --> 00:09:10,300 Troy: I WAS ATTRACTED TO TANISHA 'CAUSE HER PERSONALITY 162 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:11,633 AND HER HEART ARE STILL RIGHT THERE. 163 00:09:11,633 --> 00:09:13,233 THAT'S WHO I REALLY FELL IN LOVE WITH, 164 00:09:13,233 --> 00:09:15,600 SO, THE SIZE, I DIDN'T SEE THAT. 165 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:17,767 THOUGH, SHE COULD JUST MOVE AROUND 166 00:09:17,767 --> 00:09:20,067 AND BATHE HERSELF LIKE SHE WANTED TO 167 00:09:20,067 --> 00:09:23,833 AND COOK WHEN SHE WANT TO, STUFF LIKE THAT. 168 00:09:23,833 --> 00:09:27,333 Tanisha: NINE MONTHS INTO OUR RELATIONSHIP, HE PROPOSED. 169 00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:28,667 SO WE GOT MARRIED, 170 00:09:28,667 --> 00:09:31,867 AND HE'S BEEN THERE FOR ME AND THE KIDS EVER SINCE. 171 00:09:31,867 --> 00:09:35,233 YOU KNOW, WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR SEVEN YEARS NOW. 172 00:09:35,233 --> 00:09:38,067 BUT MY WEIGHT GAIN HAS NEVER REALLY SLOWED DOWN, 173 00:09:38,067 --> 00:09:40,933 'CAUSE I JUST HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO TURN AWAY FOOD. 174 00:09:43,433 --> 00:09:46,300 A COUPLE OF YEARS BACK, MY MOM KICKED HER DRUG HABIT 175 00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:48,600 AND GAVE HER LIFE TO CHRIST, TOO, 176 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:52,767 AND WE WERE ABLE TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP FOR A FEW YEARS. 177 00:09:52,767 --> 00:09:56,933 AT ONE POINT, SHE FINALLY SAID "I'M SORRY." 178 00:09:56,933 --> 00:09:58,067 "I'M SORRY FOR THE DRUG USE. 179 00:09:58,067 --> 00:09:59,733 I'M SORRY FOR NOT PROTECTING YOU, 180 00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:01,267 I'M SORRY FOR NOT BELIEVING YOU, 181 00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:04,267 I'M SORRY FOR MAKING YOU GROW UP FASTER THAN YOU SHOULD HAVE, 182 00:10:04,267 --> 00:10:07,700 I'M SORRY THAT I DIDN'T DO MY JOB AS YOUR MOM," 183 00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:09,467 AND THAT'S ALL I WANTED TO HEAR. 184 00:10:11,667 --> 00:10:13,400 BUT SHE WAS ADDICTED TO FOOD, TOO, 185 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:17,267 AND WAS CLOSE TO 700 POUNDS. 186 00:10:17,267 --> 00:10:20,000 'NISHA'S MOM BECAME BEDRIDDEN LATER ON 187 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,967 AS SHE PROGRESSED WITH HER WEIGHT, 188 00:10:21,967 --> 00:10:24,600 AND THAT WEIGHT JUST ACCUMULATED OVER THE YEARS 189 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:27,500 AND IT ACCUMULATED FAST. 190 00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:30,300 Tanisha: WE DECIDED WE WERE GONNA LOSE WEIGHT TOGETHER. 191 00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:32,233 I WAS SO LOOKING FORWARD TO 192 00:10:32,233 --> 00:10:34,867 "MAMA, WE GOT A LOT OF YEARS LEFT. 193 00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:37,600 WE GOT TIME." 194 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:40,133 AND WE DIDN'T. 195 00:10:42,567 --> 00:10:45,367 [ SNIFFLES ] 196 00:10:45,367 --> 00:10:48,500 AND THEN SHE WAS FOUND DEAD IN HER HOME ALONE 197 00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:51,600 BECAUSE HER BODY COULDN'T HANDLE IT ANYMORE. 198 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:54,733 THAT WAS MY DARKEST MOMENT. 199 00:10:54,733 --> 00:10:56,267 [ Voice breaking ] MY MOM WAS YOUNG. 200 00:10:56,267 --> 00:10:59,200 50 IS STILL YOUNG. 201 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,800 BUT I KNOW RIGHT NOW THAT'S WHERE I'M HEADED, 202 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,333 AND THAT SCARES ME. 203 00:11:08,467 --> 00:11:11,300 AND NOW, I SPEND MOST OF MY DAY IN THIS BED, 204 00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:12,633 TRAPPED IN THIS ROOM, 205 00:11:12,633 --> 00:11:14,800 BARELY ABLE TO FUNCTION ON MY OWN 206 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:18,567 ALL BECAUSE I CAN'T STOP EATING. 207 00:11:18,567 --> 00:11:21,233 AND NOW I'M NOT REALLY LIVING, 208 00:11:21,233 --> 00:11:26,067 SO I DON'T EVEN CONSIDER MYSELF TO HAVE A LIFE, 209 00:11:26,067 --> 00:11:31,967 BECAUSE THE SIMPLEST THINGS TO DO IS HARD, 210 00:11:31,967 --> 00:11:33,167 AND I JUST HATE IT. 211 00:11:33,167 --> 00:11:34,667 OKAY, COME ON. 212 00:11:34,667 --> 00:11:36,400 I FEEL LIKE I'M SLIPPING. 213 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:37,733 OKAY. 214 00:11:37,733 --> 00:11:42,100 BUT TROY TAKES CARE OF EVERYTHING. 215 00:11:42,100 --> 00:11:44,733 AND IF HE DOESN'T, IT MAKES ME UPSET, 216 00:11:44,733 --> 00:11:46,233 ESPECIALLY WHEN I'M HUNGRY, 217 00:11:46,233 --> 00:11:49,300 BECAUSE WHEN I CRAVE SOMETHING, I JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT. 218 00:11:53,167 --> 00:11:55,900 I HAVE A LOT OF FAMILY AROUND. 219 00:11:55,900 --> 00:11:56,900 MY COUSINS AND THEIR KIDS 220 00:11:56,900 --> 00:11:58,867 ARE IN AND OUT OF THE HOUSE ALL DAY, 221 00:11:58,867 --> 00:12:01,067 SO I ALWAYS HAVE SOMEONE TO GIVE ME WHAT I WANT. 222 00:12:01,067 --> 00:12:04,100 LIKE, WHEN I'M READY TO EAT, I DON'T LIKE TO WAIT. 223 00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:06,800 SO TROY BRINGS MY FOOD. 224 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:10,533 HARRY, YOU GOT THERE HOW MANY CHALUPAS? 225 00:12:10,533 --> 00:12:12,767 I KNOW I'M ENDING UP JUST LIKE MY MOM DID, 226 00:12:12,767 --> 00:12:15,233 AND I DON'T WANT THIS FOR ME OR MY CHILDREN. 227 00:12:15,233 --> 00:12:20,067 MY DAUGHTER Jer'Monika IS 16 YEARS OLD, 228 00:12:20,067 --> 00:12:24,067 AND MY OTHER DAUGHTER MALAYZHA'S 8 YEARS OLD NOW, 229 00:12:24,067 --> 00:12:26,433 AND I DON'T WANT THEM TO TAKE CARE OF ME. 230 00:12:26,433 --> 00:12:29,167 BUT IT'S LIKE, SOMETIMES I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE. 231 00:12:29,167 --> 00:12:32,533 MAL, GIVE ME A PEACH SODA, PLEASE. 232 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:35,400 THANK YOU. 233 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:36,767 BUT I FEEL LIKE I SHOULDN'T BE AT THE POINT 234 00:12:36,767 --> 00:12:38,100 WHERE I HAVE TO PUT MY CHILDREN IN THE SAME SITUATION 235 00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:41,133 THAT I WAS IN WITH MY MOM. 236 00:12:41,133 --> 00:12:44,200 MY MOM -- SHE STAYS A LOT IN HER ROOM, 237 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:45,433 AND IT MAKES ME SAD 238 00:12:45,433 --> 00:12:47,467 BECAUSE IF WE COULD SWITCH PLACES -- 239 00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:50,700 ME HAVING ALL THAT WEIGHT ON ME, AND SHE COULD GO OUT AND PLAY -- 240 00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:52,067 I WOULD BE REALLY HAPPY, 241 00:12:52,067 --> 00:12:54,433 'CAUSE I COULD SEE HER GO OUT AND HAVE FUN 242 00:12:54,433 --> 00:12:56,467 INSTEAD OF JUST SITTING AROUND IN THE HOUSE. 243 00:12:58,367 --> 00:13:00,333 Tanisha: I'M DEFINITELY MAD AT MYSELF, 244 00:13:00,333 --> 00:13:03,500 BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE MY WEIGHT IS OUT OF CONTROL. 245 00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:05,067 BUT WHEN I'M EATING, 246 00:13:05,067 --> 00:13:06,800 I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE. 247 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:10,500 I'M JUST LIKE, "OH, GOD, YES," YOU KNOW. 248 00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:13,833 BUT I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH. 249 00:13:17,833 --> 00:13:19,167 I DON'T DO ANYTHING ELSE, 250 00:13:19,167 --> 00:13:20,567 I DON'T DO ANY OTHER TYPE OF DRUGS OR ANYTHING ELSE, 251 00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:23,500 SO I THINK FOOD IS MY DRUG, 252 00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:27,500 AND I CAN'T STOP. 253 00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:29,600 I NEED HELP, AND I NEED IT NOW, 254 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,367 'CAUSE I'M KNOCKING ON DEATH'S DOOR, 255 00:13:31,367 --> 00:13:34,267 AND IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE HE ANSWERS. 256 00:13:36,067 --> 00:13:37,367 I THINK ABOUT -- 257 00:13:37,367 --> 00:13:38,600 ARE MY KIDS GONNA COME IN ONE DAY 258 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,167 AND FIND ME DEAD? 259 00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:41,900 WHO WANTS TO THINK ABOUT THAT? 260 00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:49,633 I KNOW I HAVE TO STOP LIVING LIKE THIS, 261 00:13:49,633 --> 00:13:52,933 OR I'M JUST GONNA GO TO SLEEP AND NEVER WAKE UP. 262 00:13:58,133 --> 00:14:01,233 ** 263 00:14:12,700 --> 00:14:14,500 Tanisha: I AM REALLY NERVOUS TODAY, 264 00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:16,467 BECAUSE I'M GOING TO SEE DR. NOWZARADAN. 265 00:14:16,467 --> 00:14:17,800 YOU GET UP THERE. 266 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,300 I'VE WANTED TO GET HELP FOR A WHILE, 267 00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:22,133 SO THE FACT THAT I'M FINALLY DOING THIS 268 00:14:22,133 --> 00:14:23,333 IS A BIG DEAL FOR ME. 269 00:14:25,767 --> 00:14:26,933 A LITTLE NERVOUS, 270 00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:28,967 MORE SO READY TO, YOU KNOW, GET THERE 271 00:14:28,967 --> 00:14:30,167 AND SEE WHAT HE HAS TO SAY 272 00:14:30,167 --> 00:14:32,833 AND MOVE ON TO THE NEXT LEVEL. 273 00:14:32,833 --> 00:14:34,867 Tanisha: THIS VISIT IS VERY IMPORTANT. 274 00:14:34,867 --> 00:14:38,067 THIS IS LIKE A MAKE-OR-BREAK SITUATION FOR ME. 275 00:14:38,067 --> 00:14:40,500 I'VE TRIED OTHER DIET THINGS, I'VE TALKED TO OTHER DOCTORS. 276 00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:41,833 THIS IS IT. 277 00:14:44,167 --> 00:14:45,467 MM-HMM. 278 00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:46,700 MM-HMM. 279 00:14:47,867 --> 00:14:50,400 I LOVE YOU, MAMA. LOVE YOU. 280 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:52,233 Tanisha: I'M JUST TRYING TO PREPARE MYSELF MENTALLY, 281 00:14:52,233 --> 00:14:53,867 BUT I'M VERY ANXIOUS, 282 00:14:53,867 --> 00:14:55,967 BECAUSE THE WORST FEAR FOR ME A "NO." 283 00:14:55,967 --> 00:14:58,367 A "NO" TO ME IS A "NO" TO MY LIFE. 284 00:14:58,367 --> 00:15:01,100 READY, MAMA? YEP. LET'S GO. 285 00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:02,567 OKAY, HANG ON TO MY SHOULDER. 286 00:15:02,567 --> 00:15:05,400 OH, I MIGHT NEED IT, BABY. 287 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:08,800 Tanisha: I FEEL LIKE GOD HAS BROUGHT ME TO THIS. 288 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:10,567 HE'S OPENED UP A DOOR FOR ME, 289 00:15:10,567 --> 00:15:14,433 SO I FEEL LIKE SOMETHING ELSE HAS TO GIVE. 290 00:15:14,433 --> 00:15:17,233 MY SIZE HAS TAKEN AWAY MY INDEPENDENCE, 291 00:15:17,233 --> 00:15:19,533 TAKEN AWAY MY FREEDOM, 292 00:15:19,533 --> 00:15:22,667 AND I HAVE CHILDREN THAT I NEED TO LIVE FOR. 293 00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:27,800 SO I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING, AND I CAN'T DO IT ON MY OWN. 294 00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:30,233 I NEED THE HELP. OH, LORD. 295 00:15:39,133 --> 00:15:43,067 THE DOCTOR'S ONLY ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF AWAY FROM ME, 296 00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:44,800 AND I'M A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT THE PAIN 297 00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:47,533 OF BEING IN THE CAR THAT LONG. 298 00:15:47,533 --> 00:15:49,467 BUT I KNOW IT'S A SMALL PRICE TO PAY 299 00:15:49,467 --> 00:15:51,900 TO TRY AND GET HELP 300 00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:53,767 AND THAT I CAN HANDLE IT. 301 00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:01,733 Tanisha: WE JUST GOT TO HOUSTON. 302 00:16:01,733 --> 00:16:03,700 YOU KNOW, I'M A BALL OF EMOTIONS RIGHT NOW. 303 00:16:03,700 --> 00:16:05,333 YOU KNOW, I'M THINKING ABOUT MY MOM 304 00:16:05,333 --> 00:16:08,700 AND, YOU KNOW, HOW I LOST HER DUE TO ALL OF THIS, 305 00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:10,633 SO I'M -- A LOT OF THINGS WORRY ME. 306 00:16:10,633 --> 00:16:12,633 IF IT'S A "NO," YOU KNOW, 307 00:16:12,633 --> 00:16:14,533 "COULD THAT BE ME NEXT?" YOU KNOW. 308 00:16:14,533 --> 00:16:17,167 SO, I'M WORRIED 309 00:16:17,167 --> 00:16:19,800 BUT TRYING TO STAY POSITIVE AT THE SAME TIME. 310 00:16:25,700 --> 00:16:29,467 Tanisha: WHAT I'M ABOUT TO BE TOLD IS OUT OF MY CONTROL. 311 00:16:29,467 --> 00:16:34,967 SO THIS ALL JUST MAKES ME NERVOUS. 312 00:16:34,967 --> 00:16:36,733 AND WHEN YOU'RE AS BIG AS I AM, 313 00:16:36,733 --> 00:16:38,333 THERE'S NEVER A MOMENT 314 00:16:38,333 --> 00:16:39,867 WHEN YOU AREN'T SCARED OF THE SCALE. 315 00:16:39,867 --> 00:16:41,767 OH, GOD. 316 00:16:41,767 --> 00:16:44,267 AND I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY WEIGHT IS, 317 00:16:44,267 --> 00:16:46,133 BECAUSE I HAVEN'T BEEN WEIGHED IN YEARS. 318 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:48,500 Malayzha: LOOK AT THAT. 319 00:16:58,533 --> 00:17:00,833 THAT'S HIGHER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE. 320 00:17:03,900 --> 00:17:07,100 IT'S A LITTLE SHOCKING, BUT THAT'S WHY I'M HERE -- 321 00:17:07,100 --> 00:17:09,667 TO CHANGE THAT. 322 00:17:09,667 --> 00:17:12,067 I DESPERATELY NEED A DOCTOR'S HELP, 323 00:17:12,067 --> 00:17:14,667 AND I'M PRAYING TO GOD THAT HE CAN DO SOMETHING FOR ME. 324 00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:15,700 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 325 00:17:16,700 --> 00:17:18,467 Tanisha: OH, MY GOD. 326 00:17:18,467 --> 00:17:19,733 HEY! Dr. Nowzaradan: HELLO. 327 00:17:19,733 --> 00:17:22,200 I'M SO EXCITED. 328 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:25,167 I'M DR. NOWZARADAN. HOW ARE YOU? 329 00:17:25,167 --> 00:17:26,700 SO, YOU'VE BEEN BATTLING WITH YOUR WEIGHT 330 00:17:26,700 --> 00:17:28,067 QUITE A WHILE, HUH? 331 00:17:28,067 --> 00:17:30,800 IT'S BEEN MANY YEARS. 332 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,100 WHAT SEEMS TO BE YOUR BIGGEST CHALLENGE 333 00:17:33,100 --> 00:17:34,500 WITH YOUR DIET? 334 00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:37,467 SWEETS, SODAS. 335 00:17:37,467 --> 00:17:39,933 OKAY, HOW MANY SODAS DO YOU DRINK A DAY? 336 00:17:39,933 --> 00:17:41,467 OOH! 337 00:17:41,467 --> 00:17:42,467 I CAN DRINK A 12-PACK, 338 00:17:42,467 --> 00:17:43,633 MAYBE A LITTLE MORE SOMETIMES. 339 00:17:43,633 --> 00:17:44,933 IT JUST DEPENDS. 340 00:17:44,933 --> 00:17:46,500 SO, WHAT DO YOU EAT? 341 00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:47,700 SOMETIMES FAST FOOD, 342 00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:49,633 "LET'S GO GRAB A BURGER, PIZZA." 343 00:17:49,633 --> 00:17:52,100 I'LL HAVE A SNACK -- YOU KNOW, I LIKE MY CHOCOLATE, 344 00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:53,867 MAYBE SOME CHIPS SOME TIME. 345 00:17:53,867 --> 00:17:58,067 DINNER USUALLY COMES 8:00, 9:00, 10:00 AT NIGHT 346 00:17:58,067 --> 00:18:00,067 THEN I HAVE WHATEVER I'M GONNA EAT FOR DINNER -- 347 00:18:00,067 --> 00:18:03,300 MOSTLY BURGERS OR PIZZA. 348 00:18:03,300 --> 00:18:04,833 SO, WHO BUYS THOSE? 349 00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:06,533 WHO IS YOUR ENABLER? 350 00:18:12,067 --> 00:18:13,833 Tanisha: I DON'T REALLY WANT TO SAY. 351 00:18:13,833 --> 00:18:16,067 WHO ARE YOU POINTING AT? HE IS, YOU KNOW. 352 00:18:16,067 --> 00:18:18,967 IT'S LIKE WHATEVER I WANT, WHENEVER I WANT IT. 353 00:18:18,967 --> 00:18:21,767 IF I WANT -- "OKAY. I'LL GO GET IT," YOU KNOW. 354 00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:25,367 SO HE DOES -- HE'S MY ENABLER. 355 00:18:25,367 --> 00:18:27,400 EVERYBODY REALLY IS. 356 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:30,300 OKAY, TANISHA. THE TIME TO CHANGE IS NOW. 357 00:18:30,300 --> 00:18:32,433 SO, WE'RE NOT GONNA BUY THIS STUFF. 358 00:18:32,433 --> 00:18:34,100 OKAY. OKAY? 359 00:18:34,100 --> 00:18:37,467 TANISHA IS GOING TO BE AN INTERESTING CASE. 360 00:18:37,467 --> 00:18:41,167 AT 5'1", THAT WEIGHT IS EXTREMELY OUT OF CONTROL. 361 00:18:41,167 --> 00:18:44,633 SHE'S PROPORTIONALLY EQUAL TO 700 POUNDS 362 00:18:44,633 --> 00:18:47,367 FOR SOMEONE OF MORE AVERAGE HEIGHT. 363 00:18:47,367 --> 00:18:51,067 SO HER BODY IS BEING PUSHED TO THE LIMIT RIGHT NOW, 364 00:18:51,067 --> 00:18:53,933 AND ONCE SHE BECOMES COMPLETELY IMMOBILE, 365 00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:56,833 SHE WON'T LIVE MUCH LONGER AT THAT POINT. 366 00:18:56,833 --> 00:18:59,267 SO, HOW DO YOU SEE THAT THE SURGERY 367 00:18:59,267 --> 00:19:02,300 IS GONNA CHANGE ANY OF THIS? 368 00:19:02,300 --> 00:19:03,933 I FEEL LIKE IT'S GIVEN ME HOPE, 369 00:19:03,933 --> 00:19:05,667 IT'S GIVEN ME SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO. 370 00:19:05,667 --> 00:19:07,400 YOU KNOW, IT'S GONNA CUT WHAT I -- 371 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,700 OKAY, NO, NO. THAT'S A FIGURE OF SPEECH. 372 00:19:09,700 --> 00:19:11,700 GIVE ME "HOW" -- I MEAN -- 373 00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:13,800 ...THE MOTIVATION, "HOW." 374 00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:15,933 BECAUSE THE REALITY IS THAT 375 00:19:15,933 --> 00:19:20,067 THE SURGERY IS GONNA HELP ONE ASPECT OF YOUR EATING. 376 00:19:20,067 --> 00:19:22,867 YEAH, BUT IT'S GOT TO BE ME WITH THE OTHER PART -- 377 00:19:22,867 --> 00:19:25,200 CUTTING BACK ON THE FOOD INTAKE, 378 00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,500 CUTTING BACK ON THE SODAS, THE SWEETS, 379 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,833 THE OUTSIDE SNACKING, 380 00:19:28,833 --> 00:19:30,067 YOU KNOW, THE FAST FOOD. CORRECT. 381 00:19:30,067 --> 00:19:31,533 YOU KNOW, THE TYPE OF FOOD THAT YOU EAT 382 00:19:31,533 --> 00:19:33,067 IS GONNA BE YOUR CHOICE. 383 00:19:33,067 --> 00:19:34,367 THAT'S RIGHT. 384 00:19:34,367 --> 00:19:37,067 THE FREQUENCY THEN IS GONNA BE YOUR CHOICE... 385 00:19:37,067 --> 00:19:38,300 MY CHOICE -- THAT'S RIGHT. 386 00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:41,600 ...AND THE PORTION CONTROL COMES WITH THE SURGERY. 387 00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:43,433 IN ORDER TO BE PREPARED FOR SURGERY, 388 00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:46,500 YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GET A HANDLE ON ALL THOSE THINGS. 389 00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:48,567 AND THEN IF YOU GET TO THAT POINT, 390 00:19:48,567 --> 00:19:51,767 THEN SURGERY WILL BE A GOOD OPTION FOR YOU. 391 00:19:51,767 --> 00:19:53,600 Dr. Nowzaradan: TANISHA HAS AN ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING 392 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,600 BEFORE I EVEN TELL HER. 393 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,967 SO SHE LIKES TO STAY IN CONTROL, 394 00:19:57,967 --> 00:20:01,567 AND SHE'S THE ONE WHO CLEARLY RUNS THE HOUSEHOLD. 395 00:20:01,567 --> 00:20:05,000 SO THE WHOLE DYNAMIC OF WHAT NEEDS TO CHANGE AT HOME 396 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,967 REVOLVES AROUND HER. 397 00:20:06,967 --> 00:20:08,500 YOU'RE ONLY 32, 398 00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:11,200 AND AT THE WEIGHT YOU ARE RIGHT NOW, 399 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:14,300 YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH LONGER LIKE THIS. 400 00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:17,700 SO THIS IS THE TIME TO CHANGE BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE, 401 00:20:17,700 --> 00:20:19,567 AND THE PROCESS STARTS 402 00:20:19,567 --> 00:20:21,900 FROM CHANGING YOUR EATING HABIT, OKAY? 403 00:20:21,900 --> 00:20:25,667 THERE'LL BE NO SODA, THERE'LL BE NO CHOCOLATE. 404 00:20:25,667 --> 00:20:30,433 YOU'RE GONNA EAT ONLY PROTEIN AND NO CARBS. 405 00:20:30,433 --> 00:20:33,267 EAT ONLY TWO OR THREE TIMES A DAY -- 406 00:20:33,267 --> 00:20:34,700 NO SNACKING IN BETWEEN. 407 00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:38,467 AND I'M GOING TO PUT YOU ON A 1,200-CALORIE-A-DAY DIET, 408 00:20:38,467 --> 00:20:39,600 AND WITH THAT, 409 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,867 I WANT YOU TO LOSE 30 POUNDS OVER THE NEXT MONTH. 410 00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:44,933 IF YOU CHOOSE TO STICK WITH THE INSTRUCTION 411 00:20:44,933 --> 00:20:46,300 THAT WE GIVE YOU, 412 00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:48,167 YOU'RE GONNA BE SUCCESSFUL. 413 00:20:48,167 --> 00:20:51,367 BUT IF YOU EAT WHATEVER AND WHENEVER, 414 00:20:51,367 --> 00:20:53,767 LIKE YOU'RE EATING NOW, 415 00:20:53,767 --> 00:20:55,067 10 YEARS AFTER SURGERY, 416 00:20:55,067 --> 00:20:56,533 YOU'RE GONNA BE AT THE SAME PLACE. 417 00:20:56,533 --> 00:20:57,633 THAT'S RIGHT. 418 00:20:57,633 --> 00:21:00,133 I KNOW THESE UNHEALTHY EATING HABITS -- 419 00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:02,500 THEY DID NOT DEVELOP OVERNIGHT. 420 00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:04,900 I DON'T EXPECT THEM TO GO AWAY OVERNIGHT, 421 00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:08,567 BUT YOU HAVE TO MAKE DRASTIC CHANGES RIGHT NOW. 422 00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:10,200 OKAY, THEN. ALL RIGHT. 423 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:11,533 FINE. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 424 00:21:11,533 --> 00:21:13,333 WELL, I'M GONNA GIVE YOU SOME HOMEWORK. 425 00:21:13,333 --> 00:21:15,100 OKAY. OKAY? 426 00:21:15,100 --> 00:21:16,267 MAKE SURE YOU UNDERSTAND THAT. 427 00:21:16,267 --> 00:21:17,500 OKAY. OKAY? 428 00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:18,933 BECAUSE IT'S VERY IMPORTANT 429 00:21:18,933 --> 00:21:21,133 THAT YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THE PROBLEM IS 430 00:21:21,133 --> 00:21:22,933 AND WHAT THE SOLUTION'S GONNA BE. 431 00:21:22,933 --> 00:21:24,433 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 432 00:21:24,433 --> 00:21:25,733 I'LL SEE YOU LATER. 433 00:21:30,633 --> 00:21:34,767 Tanisha: I KNOW I HAVE TO DO WHAT THE DOCTOR IS TELLING ME. 434 00:21:34,767 --> 00:21:39,667 I'M NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO IT, AND I KNOW IT'S GONNA BE HARD. 435 00:21:39,667 --> 00:21:43,767 BUT I KNOW THIS IS MY LAST CHANCE TO HAVE A LIFE. 436 00:21:43,767 --> 00:21:47,267 THERE'S SO MUCH I WANT TO DO IN MY LIFE. 437 00:21:47,267 --> 00:21:48,833 FOR ME TO STAY WHERE I'M AT, 438 00:21:48,833 --> 00:21:52,433 IT MEANS NOTHING BUT DEATH TO ME. 439 00:21:54,267 --> 00:21:57,933 SO, NO MATTER HOW HARD THIS IS, I'M READY FOR IT. 440 00:22:01,067 --> 00:22:05,933 ** 441 00:22:05,933 --> 00:22:09,933 TROY, WHERE'S MY SALAD? 442 00:22:13,167 --> 00:22:14,300 OH. 443 00:22:15,867 --> 00:22:17,833 I'VE BEEN WORKING HARD THESE LAST FEW WEEKS 444 00:22:17,833 --> 00:22:20,467 ADAPTING TO THE DOCTOR'S DIET. 445 00:22:20,467 --> 00:22:23,867 BUT IT HAS NOT BEEN EASY. 446 00:22:23,867 --> 00:22:25,067 AND I'M STARVING, 447 00:22:25,067 --> 00:22:27,067 BECAUSE I'M NOT EATING ANYTHING I REALLY WANT 448 00:22:27,067 --> 00:22:30,667 OR NEARLY THE AMOUNT THAT I WANT. 449 00:22:30,667 --> 00:22:32,067 BASICALLY, I CUT BACK. 450 00:22:32,067 --> 00:22:34,333 NO SODAS, NO CHOCOLATES -- 451 00:22:34,333 --> 00:22:36,200 AND I'VE BEEN EATING LOTS MORE SALAD, 452 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:37,967 AND THAT'S IT. 453 00:22:37,967 --> 00:22:41,200 IT'S HARD, BUT I'M DEALING WITH IT. 454 00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:44,867 AND THE LAST MONTH HAS BEEN MORE HARD FOR ME TO FOCUS, 455 00:22:44,867 --> 00:22:47,233 BECAUSE I DID JUST LOSE MY MOM, 456 00:22:47,233 --> 00:22:51,333 AND USUALLY WHEN I'M EMOTIONAL, I'M AN EMOTIONAL EATER. 457 00:22:51,333 --> 00:22:52,633 SO THIS IS THE TIME 458 00:22:52,633 --> 00:22:55,133 THAT I WILL USUALLY GO TO MY SNACKS AND FAST FOODS 459 00:22:55,133 --> 00:22:57,833 AND JUST DROWN MYSELF IN WHATEVER. 460 00:22:57,833 --> 00:23:01,533 BUT LOSING HER TO OBESITY -- 461 00:23:01,533 --> 00:23:03,533 I JUST DON'T WANT MY KIDS TO GO THROUGH THE SAME THING, 462 00:23:03,533 --> 00:23:05,700 SO I HAVE TO LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE. 463 00:23:05,700 --> 00:23:07,833 AND EVEN THOUGH I LOST MY MOM, 464 00:23:07,833 --> 00:23:10,867 I'M STILL HERE WITH MY CHILDREN. 465 00:23:10,867 --> 00:23:12,433 WHAT IS THE PURPLE STUFF IN THERE? 466 00:23:12,433 --> 00:23:13,933 IT'S LIKE LETTUCE. COME ON. 467 00:23:14,300 --> 00:23:20,300 SO I'M PUSHING MYSELF HARD 468 00:23:20,300 --> 00:23:23,300 TO LOSE EVERY POUND I CAN, 469 00:23:23,300 --> 00:23:26,733 AND I'M GOING TO DO THIS NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES. 470 00:23:26,733 --> 00:23:30,533 BUT I KNOW I HAVE NO CHANCE LONG TERM WITHOUT SURGERY. 471 00:23:41,067 --> 00:23:42,867 I'M REALLY HOT. 472 00:23:42,867 --> 00:23:43,800 Troy: [ COUGHS ] 473 00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:45,500 I THINK IT'S REALLY COLD IN HERE. 474 00:23:45,500 --> 00:23:47,700 Tanisha: I'M HERE FOR MY FOLLOW-UP APPOINTMENT WITH DR. NOW. 475 00:23:47,700 --> 00:23:48,933 OH, JESUS! 476 00:23:48,933 --> 00:23:50,900 AND I'VE BEEN PRAYING NONSTOP FOR TODAY 477 00:23:50,900 --> 00:23:54,367 AND THAT THE SCALE WILL BE DOWN TO THE NUMBER I NEED. 478 00:23:59,633 --> 00:24:01,867 MS. CLEVELAND? 479 00:24:01,867 --> 00:24:04,633 I'M SO NERVOUS RIGHT NOW, 480 00:24:04,633 --> 00:24:10,067 BECAUSE THIS IS MY CHANCE TO TURN MY LIFE AROUND, 481 00:24:10,067 --> 00:24:12,233 AND I'VE WORKED AS HARD AS I CAN THIS PAST MONTH. 482 00:24:12,233 --> 00:24:15,667 SO NOW IT'S ALL IN GOD'S HANDS. 483 00:24:20,333 --> 00:24:25,267 ** 484 00:24:25,267 --> 00:24:26,433 [ GRUNTS ] 485 00:24:26,433 --> 00:24:28,667 Tanisha: DR. NOW SAID I NEED TO LOSE 30 POUNDS 486 00:24:28,667 --> 00:24:30,633 TO GET UNDER 558, 487 00:24:30,633 --> 00:24:33,867 AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE SCALE'S GONNA SAY. 488 00:24:33,867 --> 00:24:37,067 BUT THIS IS THE ONLY THING THAT CAN SAVE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. 489 00:24:37,067 --> 00:24:39,100 SO MY LIFE IS IN GOD'S HANDS. 490 00:24:42,100 --> 00:24:44,500 WHOO! Troy: WHAT DID I SAY? 491 00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:45,600 YES! GO AHEAD. 492 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,267 LOOK! THANK GOD. 493 00:24:47,267 --> 00:24:50,167 WHOO! I AM EXCITED! YES. 494 00:24:50,167 --> 00:24:52,100 Tanisha: PRAISE GOD. 495 00:24:52,100 --> 00:24:54,533 I AM SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW, 496 00:24:54,533 --> 00:24:57,067 BECAUSE I WAS SO WORRIED THAT NOTHING I WAS DOING 497 00:24:57,067 --> 00:25:00,533 WAS GONNA HAVE AN EFFECT. 498 00:25:00,533 --> 00:25:03,533 BUT I'M LOSING WEIGHT, 499 00:25:03,533 --> 00:25:04,633 AND I HOPE THE DOCTOR SEES 500 00:25:04,633 --> 00:25:06,967 HOW READY I AM FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. 501 00:25:10,500 --> 00:25:12,867 IT'S GONNA BE A LONG ROAD, IT'S A LONG JOURNEY, 502 00:25:12,867 --> 00:25:14,600 BUT I'M DOING IT, 503 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,500 AND I'M PROUD OF MY PROGRESS. 504 00:25:18,433 --> 00:25:19,567 HELLO. HI. 505 00:25:19,567 --> 00:25:20,733 HOW ARE YOU DOING? HOW Y'ALL DOING? 506 00:25:20,733 --> 00:25:21,833 I'M FINE. HOW ARE YOU? 507 00:25:21,833 --> 00:25:23,833 I'M DOING OKAY. 508 00:25:23,833 --> 00:25:25,767 HOW ABOUT YOU? GOOD. 509 00:25:25,767 --> 00:25:27,767 SO, YOU LOST ABOUT, WHAT, 11 POUNDS? 510 00:25:27,767 --> 00:25:31,433 11 POUNDS. SO, ARE YOU HAPPY WITH THAT? 511 00:25:31,433 --> 00:25:35,067 IT'S A START. I'M VERY HAPPY. 512 00:25:35,067 --> 00:25:37,933 BUT YOU LOST LESS THAN HALF YOUR GOAL. 513 00:25:37,933 --> 00:25:40,600 AND IF YOU HAD BEEN FOLLOWING THE DIET, 514 00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:43,700 YOU WOULD EASY HAVE LOST 30 POUNDS. 515 00:25:43,700 --> 00:25:46,067 SO THAT MEANS THAT YOU ARE NOT DOING 516 00:25:46,067 --> 00:25:47,733 WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO. 517 00:25:47,733 --> 00:25:49,367 OKAY. 518 00:25:51,100 --> 00:25:53,767 ARE WE BORING YOU? Troy: YEP. 519 00:25:53,767 --> 00:25:55,067 AND YOU AGREE WITH HER 520 00:25:55,067 --> 00:25:57,133 THAT SHE'S DOING OKAY WITH THE DIET? 521 00:26:00,767 --> 00:26:02,633 IS HE STILL AN ENABLER -- 522 00:26:02,633 --> 00:26:03,967 Tanisha: NO, 'CAUSE I DON'T ASK FOR ANYTHING. 523 00:26:03,967 --> 00:26:05,967 YOU'RE THE ENABLER FOR YOURSELF? 524 00:26:05,967 --> 00:26:07,767 NO. I DON'T ASK FOR ANYTHING. 525 00:26:07,767 --> 00:26:09,300 I HAVEN'T ASKED FOR THE FAST FOOD, 526 00:26:09,300 --> 00:26:11,833 NO SODAS, NO SNACKS. 527 00:26:11,833 --> 00:26:13,800 I DON'T ASK FOR ANYTHING, SO... 528 00:26:15,300 --> 00:26:18,800 TANISHA CAME IN VERY EXCITED ABOUT HER PROGRESS. 529 00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:23,700 BUT IF SHE HAD ACTUALLY BEEN ON A 1,200-CALORIE-DAY DIET, 530 00:26:23,700 --> 00:26:25,267 SHE SHOULD HAVE HAD NO PROBLEM 531 00:26:25,267 --> 00:26:27,767 LOSING THE WEIGHT I EXPECT HER TO LOSE, 532 00:26:27,767 --> 00:26:30,433 AND THERE SEEMS TO BE SOME TENSION 533 00:26:30,433 --> 00:26:32,333 BETWEEN HER AND HER HUSBAND, 534 00:26:32,333 --> 00:26:34,100 WHICH MAKES ME WONDER 535 00:26:34,100 --> 00:26:36,400 IF HER HUSBAND MAY FEEL THREATENED 536 00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:39,633 THAT HE'S LOSING HIS FUNCTION IN THE RELATIONSHIP, 537 00:26:39,633 --> 00:26:44,067 AND THAT'S ADDING ANOTHER ISSUE THAT WE NEED TO RESOLVE. 538 00:26:44,067 --> 00:26:46,067 ALL RIGHT, SO WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO 539 00:26:46,067 --> 00:26:50,500 IS GO BACK AND MAKE THE PROGRESS I TOLD YOU MAKE, 540 00:26:50,500 --> 00:26:52,500 AND LOSE 30 POUNDS IN ONE MONTH 541 00:26:52,500 --> 00:26:54,533 TO SHOW ME THAT YOU CAN DO THIS. 542 00:26:54,533 --> 00:26:56,967 OKAY. SOUNDS GOOD. ALL RIGHT. OKAY. 543 00:26:56,967 --> 00:26:58,800 YOU DOING OKAY? 544 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:00,333 LOOK AT THE SMILE -- 545 00:27:00,333 --> 00:27:01,633 THAT'S THE ONLY ONE WHO'S NOT BORED. 546 00:27:01,633 --> 00:27:04,467 OKAY. [ LAUGHS ] 547 00:27:08,700 --> 00:27:10,167 Tanisha: I THOUGHT I DID ENOUGH 548 00:27:10,167 --> 00:27:13,500 TO SHOW DR. NOW I'M READY FOR THIS, 549 00:27:13,500 --> 00:27:15,533 BECAUSE IT'S BEEN YEARS 550 00:27:15,533 --> 00:27:20,100 SINCE I'VE LOST WEIGHT AT ALL. 551 00:27:20,100 --> 00:27:23,767 AND I FEEL LIKE HE DOWNPLAYED MY PROGRESS, 552 00:27:23,767 --> 00:27:26,167 AND I DON'T THINK TROY'S BEING VERY SUPPORTIVE EITHER... 553 00:27:27,300 --> 00:27:28,300 OKAY, HOLD ON. 554 00:27:28,300 --> 00:27:31,967 ...AND I DON'T WANT TO FAIL. 555 00:27:31,967 --> 00:27:34,300 AND I FEEL LIKE IF I DON'T GET THIS SURGERY, 556 00:27:34,300 --> 00:27:37,533 HOW MUCH LONGER WILL I LIVE? 557 00:27:37,533 --> 00:27:40,467 HOW MUCH MORE LIFE WILL I HAVE IN ME, 558 00:27:40,467 --> 00:27:42,900 HOW MUCH MORE TIME WILL MY CHILDREN HAVE WITH ME? 559 00:28:10,833 --> 00:28:13,100 AFTER MY LAST DOCTOR'S VISIT A FEW MONTHS AGO, 560 00:28:13,100 --> 00:28:14,500 TROY AND I STARTED FIGHTING 561 00:28:14,500 --> 00:28:17,967 BECAUSE I FELT LIKE HE WASN'T BEING SUPPORTIVE OF ME 562 00:28:17,967 --> 00:28:21,133 TRYING TO GET MY LIFE TURNED AROUND FOR THE BETTER. 563 00:28:21,133 --> 00:28:23,367 SO HE DECIDED TO LEAVE. 564 00:28:25,367 --> 00:28:27,967 IT WAS DEFINITELY PAINFUL. 565 00:28:27,967 --> 00:28:29,400 I'M THINKING THIS IS MY SOUL MATE, 566 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:32,067 THIS THE PERSON I'M GONNA SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH, 567 00:28:32,067 --> 00:28:34,567 AND I DIDN'T KNOW HOW I WAS GONNA MAKE IT FOR A WHILE, 568 00:28:34,567 --> 00:28:35,900 'CAUSE I'M -- LIKE, THIS IS THE MAN 569 00:28:35,900 --> 00:28:37,500 THAT HELPS ME WITH EVERYTHING, BASICALLY, 570 00:28:37,500 --> 00:28:39,867 YOU KNOW, WITH THE COOKING, THE CLEANING, RUNNING ERRANDS, 571 00:28:39,867 --> 00:28:43,300 YOU KNOW, TAKING CARE OF ME PERSONALLY. 572 00:28:43,300 --> 00:28:46,067 AND WHEN I DIDN'T HAVE THAT, YOU KNOW, IT WAS LIKE, 573 00:28:46,067 --> 00:28:47,767 "GOD, WHAT AM I GONNA DO?" 574 00:28:49,900 --> 00:28:51,467 SO, I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO MAKE TIME 575 00:28:51,467 --> 00:28:55,500 FOR ANY SORT OF DIET OR WEIGHT LOSS RIGHT NOW. 576 00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:57,067 [ SIGHS ] 577 00:28:57,067 --> 00:28:58,700 HOW CAN I WORRY ABOUT MY WEIGHT 578 00:28:58,700 --> 00:29:01,700 WHEN I HAVE THE WEIGHT OF MY WHOLE HOUSE ON ME? 579 00:29:01,700 --> 00:29:04,867 SO, I'M JUST TAKING A BREAK RIGHT NOW... 580 00:29:07,300 --> 00:29:10,567 ...AND I'M NOT SURE WHEN I'M GONNA GO BACK TO DR. NOWZARADAN. 581 00:29:12,967 --> 00:29:15,867 I NEED TO BE THERE FOR MY KIDS RIGHT NOW. 582 00:29:15,867 --> 00:29:18,700 BUT ALL THIS MOVING AROUND AND ACTIVITY 583 00:29:18,700 --> 00:29:20,600 IS TAKING A BIG TOLL ON MY BODY, 584 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:24,233 AND I'M IN A LOT OF PAIN MOST OF THE DAY. 585 00:29:29,967 --> 00:29:31,400 FOR ME TO GET TO WHERE I NEED TO BE, 586 00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:32,400 I HAVE TO PUSH MYSELF, 587 00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:34,633 SO I TRY TO WORK THROUGH THE PAIN. 588 00:29:34,633 --> 00:29:38,500 BUT IT'S A STRUGGLE AT TIMES. 589 00:29:38,500 --> 00:29:41,833 SO I'M NOT SURE HOW I'M GONNA KEEP DOING THIS. 590 00:29:44,067 --> 00:29:46,800 HEY, PUD. HI. 591 00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:48,400 HOW WAS YOUR DAY? GOOD. 592 00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:50,967 WHAT'D YOU DO AT SCHOOL? YEAH? 593 00:29:50,967 --> 00:29:52,200 WHAT'D YOU DO AT SCHOOL? 594 00:29:53,967 --> 00:29:56,567 NO HOMEWORK? MNH-MNH. 595 00:29:56,567 --> 00:29:57,733 PAPERS, THOUGH. 596 00:30:00,067 --> 00:30:02,400 YOU NEED TWO... 597 00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:04,267 I TRIED MY BEST. 598 00:30:04,267 --> 00:30:05,633 THAT'S NOT GONNA WORK EVERY TIME. 599 00:30:05,633 --> 00:30:07,767 [ LAUGHS ] 600 00:30:07,767 --> 00:30:09,767 MM! 601 00:30:09,767 --> 00:30:12,233 NOW, PUT THIS WHERE I PUT THE PAPERS. 602 00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:15,633 Tanisha: WHEN I JUST NEED ESCAPE, 603 00:30:15,633 --> 00:30:18,833 FOOD IS THE OPTION I NEED RIGHT NOW, 604 00:30:18,833 --> 00:30:20,267 BECAUSE THAT HELPS ME TO KEEP GOING 605 00:30:20,267 --> 00:30:21,433 AND RUN THIS HOUSE 606 00:30:21,433 --> 00:30:24,433 AND TAKE CARE OF MY KIDS LIKE THEY NEED. 607 00:30:24,433 --> 00:30:28,067 AND MY CHILDREN COME FIRST. 608 00:30:28,067 --> 00:30:31,200 Malayzha: I'VE NOTICED THAT SOME PEOPLE CAN DIE 609 00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:32,733 FROM HAVING ALL THAT WEIGHT, 610 00:30:32,733 --> 00:30:36,400 AND IT JUST MAKES ME WORRY THAT MY MAMA'S GONNA DIE. 611 00:30:38,467 --> 00:30:39,967 IT'S VERY HARD FOR ME, 612 00:30:39,967 --> 00:30:42,933 BECAUSE WHILE I'M SEEING ALL THESE OTHER PEOPLE 613 00:30:42,933 --> 00:30:45,200 DOING STUFF WITH THEIR MOMS, 614 00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:48,300 IT MAKES ME SAD THAT I CAN'T DO THAT STUFF WITH MY MOM. 615 00:30:55,867 --> 00:30:58,900 I FEEL LIKE SOMETIMES IT'S MY FAULT 616 00:30:58,900 --> 00:31:00,700 BECAUSE SHE STARTED GAINING THE WEIGHT 617 00:31:00,700 --> 00:31:03,700 WHEN SHE WAS PREGNANT WITH ME. 618 00:31:03,700 --> 00:31:05,133 AND I FELT LIKE IT'S MY FAULT, 619 00:31:05,133 --> 00:31:08,067 BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I PUT ALL THAT WEIGHT ON HER. 620 00:31:10,767 --> 00:31:13,467 I WISH FOR MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE 621 00:31:13,467 --> 00:31:16,533 IS FOR MY MOM TO LOSE WEIGHT 622 00:31:16,533 --> 00:31:19,567 SO SHE CAN DO MORE STUFF WITH US. 623 00:31:23,900 --> 00:31:27,433 Tanisha: I'M THEIR MOM, AND THEY NEED ME RIGHT NOW 624 00:31:27,433 --> 00:31:30,633 AND FOOD HELPS ME COPE, 625 00:31:30,633 --> 00:31:33,267 AND I DON'T KNOW WHEN MY SITUATION'S GONNA CHANGE 626 00:31:33,267 --> 00:31:35,633 SO I CAN GO BACK TO TRYING TO GET HELP. 627 00:31:48,500 --> 00:31:50,333 IT'S BEEN A HARD FEW MONTHS, 628 00:31:50,333 --> 00:31:53,533 BUT THINGS HAVE STARTED TO GET BETTER. 629 00:31:53,533 --> 00:31:55,500 SO I'VE DECIDED TO GET BACK ON THE PROGRAM 630 00:31:55,500 --> 00:31:59,467 AND GO SEE DR. NOW. 631 00:31:59,467 --> 00:32:01,167 I'M VERY NERVOUS RIGHT NOW. 632 00:32:01,167 --> 00:32:02,467 I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S GONNA SAY. 633 00:32:02,467 --> 00:32:05,067 I KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN FOLLOWING ANYTHING, 634 00:32:05,067 --> 00:32:09,300 SO I'M EXPECTING WEIGHT GAIN AND EVERYTHING ELSE. 635 00:32:09,300 --> 00:32:11,067 I'M FRUSTRATED WITH MYSELF 636 00:32:11,067 --> 00:32:13,700 BECAUSE I COULD HAVE TRIED TO EXERCISE BETTER, 637 00:32:13,700 --> 00:32:15,133 WATCH WHAT I EAT, 638 00:32:15,133 --> 00:32:16,833 BUT 'CAUSE I'M DEALING WITH STRESSFUL SITUATIONS, 639 00:32:16,833 --> 00:32:18,333 I WASN'T EVEN THINKING LIKE THAT. 640 00:32:18,333 --> 00:32:21,433 YOU KNOW, I JUST WENT BACK TO MY OLD WAYS. 641 00:32:21,433 --> 00:32:24,233 I ALLOWED LIFE AND EVERYTHING I WAS GOING THROUGH 642 00:32:24,233 --> 00:32:25,467 TO SIDETRACK ME, 643 00:32:25,467 --> 00:32:27,767 BUT, YOU KNOW, I'M READY. 644 00:32:27,767 --> 00:32:29,933 I'M IN A DIFFERENT SPACE, SO I'M READY TO MOVE FORWARD. 645 00:32:31,533 --> 00:32:34,433 SEPARATING FROM TROY WAS DEFINITELY HARD FOR ME, 646 00:32:34,433 --> 00:32:37,100 BUT NOW A LOT OF THINGS ARE BETTER IN MY LIFE, 647 00:32:37,100 --> 00:32:40,500 AND I'M READY TO TRY AGAIN, BECAUSE I'M HAPPY NOW. 648 00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:42,067 I HAVE A NEW MAN IN MY LIFE. 649 00:32:42,067 --> 00:32:43,933 HIS NAME IS DAVID. 650 00:32:43,933 --> 00:32:45,567 THANK YOU. 651 00:32:45,567 --> 00:32:47,833 WE'VE BEEN BEST FRIENDS FOR OVER 12 YEARS, 652 00:32:47,833 --> 00:32:50,067 AND WITH MY SEPARATION 653 00:32:50,067 --> 00:32:52,600 AND ALL THAT, YOU KNOW, WE WERE STILL JUST FRIENDS. 654 00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:53,867 HE WAS STILL SUPPORTING ME, 655 00:32:53,867 --> 00:32:56,600 AND WE JUST KIND OF TRANSITIONED INTO A RELATIONSHIP. 656 00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:01,833 David: WE'VE BEEN BEST FRIENDS 657 00:33:01,833 --> 00:33:04,733 BEFORE ANY TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP CAME INTO PLAY, 658 00:33:04,733 --> 00:33:08,200 SO, YOU KNOW, I GUESS IT WAS JUST A NATURAL TRANSITION. 659 00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:10,067 SHE'S JUST FULL OF LIFE, YOU KNOW? 660 00:33:10,067 --> 00:33:12,700 AND WHO WOULDN'T BE DRAWN TO THAT? 661 00:33:12,700 --> 00:33:15,233 IT'S WHY I LOVE HER TO DEATH. 662 00:33:15,233 --> 00:33:16,667 WELL, HOW ARE YOU FEELING? 663 00:33:16,667 --> 00:33:18,333 [ SIGHS ] JUST NOT FEELING GOOD -- 664 00:33:18,333 --> 00:33:21,933 MY LEGS HURT IN THE DAY AND MY STOMACH GOING... 665 00:33:21,933 --> 00:33:23,900 THIS IS ALL NERVES OR WHATEVER. 666 00:33:23,900 --> 00:33:25,533 WHY ARE YOU NERVOUS? 667 00:33:25,533 --> 00:33:28,767 WELL, I'M NOT SURE WHAT HE'S GONNA SAY. 668 00:33:28,767 --> 00:33:31,967 I'M PRAYING FOR GOOD NEWS, THOUGH. 669 00:33:31,967 --> 00:33:33,567 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, THOUGH -- 670 00:33:33,567 --> 00:33:37,067 I LOOK CUTE TODAY, SO THAT'S A PLUS FOR ME. 671 00:33:37,067 --> 00:33:40,067 YEAH, HE'S GONNA THINK SO, TOO. 672 00:33:40,067 --> 00:33:41,900 David: I WORRY ABOUT TANISHA A LOT, 673 00:33:41,900 --> 00:33:44,200 BECAUSE IT WOULD BE DEVASTATING TO HER KIDS 674 00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:45,700 IF SOMETHING HAPPENED IN OUR FAMILY, 675 00:33:45,700 --> 00:33:48,967 BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST IRREPLACEABLE. 676 00:33:48,967 --> 00:33:51,133 BUT I'M FEELING HOPEFUL 677 00:33:51,133 --> 00:33:53,333 THAT NO MATTER WHAT THE NUMBERS SAY 678 00:33:53,333 --> 00:33:55,533 THAT THE DOCTOR WILL STILL SEE 679 00:33:55,533 --> 00:33:57,567 THAT SHE'S WANTING TO DO THIS, 680 00:33:57,567 --> 00:34:00,100 NOT ONLY FOR THE SHORT TERM BUT THE LONG TERM, 681 00:34:00,100 --> 00:34:02,167 AND TRY TO HELP HER THE BEST HE CAN, 682 00:34:02,167 --> 00:34:06,067 BECAUSE THERE'S A LOT OF PEOPLE THAT WANT TO SEE HER SUCCEED. 683 00:34:08,700 --> 00:34:10,367 Tanisha: [ SIGHS ] 684 00:34:10,367 --> 00:34:13,933 DAVID WILL BE WITH ME AT DR. NOW'S TODAY, 685 00:34:13,933 --> 00:34:15,700 BUT I'M ALREADY NERVOUS 686 00:34:15,700 --> 00:34:17,867 AND NOT SURE WHAT THE SCALE'S GONNA SAY, 687 00:34:17,867 --> 00:34:19,167 WHAT DR. NOW'S GONNA SAY, 688 00:34:19,167 --> 00:34:23,233 SO HAVING HIM THERE WILL DEFINITELY COMFORT ME. 689 00:34:23,233 --> 00:34:26,367 WORST-CASE SCENARIO IS THAT I HAVEN'T LOST THE WEIGHT 690 00:34:26,367 --> 00:34:30,167 AND DR. NOW TURNS ME AWAY. 691 00:34:30,167 --> 00:34:35,067 BUT I JUST HOPE HE LETS ME COME BACK AND TRY AGAIN, 692 00:34:35,067 --> 00:34:37,267 AND THAT ALL THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME 693 00:34:37,267 --> 00:34:40,133 DIDN'T CAUSE ME TO LOSE MY ONLY CHANCE TO GET HIS HELP. 694 00:34:47,267 --> 00:34:50,300 ** 695 00:34:54,933 --> 00:34:58,633 Tanisha: TODAY I'M GOING BACK TO SEE DR. NOW. 696 00:34:58,633 --> 00:35:01,733 IT'S BEEN SIX MONTHS SINCE I WENT BACK TO SEE HIM, 697 00:35:01,733 --> 00:35:03,900 AND I'M REALLY HOPING HE TAKES ME BACK. 698 00:35:09,067 --> 00:35:12,833 I KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN STICKING TO THE DIET, 699 00:35:12,833 --> 00:35:14,600 BUT I HAD A LOT OF THINGS ON MY PLATE 700 00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:17,233 THAT I DIDN'T EXPECT, 701 00:35:17,233 --> 00:35:21,100 SO I HAD TO TAKE SOME TIME OFF. 702 00:35:21,100 --> 00:35:22,967 BUT I'M READY NOW TO TRY AGAIN 703 00:35:22,967 --> 00:35:25,633 AND GET BACK TO DOING WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING. 704 00:35:25,633 --> 00:35:28,133 I KNOW I PROBABLY GAINED A LITTLE WEIGHT 705 00:35:28,133 --> 00:35:29,467 SINCE I'VE SEEN HIM LAST. 706 00:35:29,467 --> 00:35:32,067 WE'RE AT IT AGAIN. 707 00:35:34,467 --> 00:35:38,067 I JUST HOPE HE'S NOT TOO UPSET AND THAT HE TAKES ME BACK. 708 00:35:42,133 --> 00:35:44,533 BACK WHERE I STARTED. 709 00:35:44,533 --> 00:35:48,433 MY GOD. 710 00:35:48,433 --> 00:35:53,567 IT'S NOT WHAT I THOUGHT, BUT I'M DEFINITELY NOT HAPPY. 711 00:35:56,333 --> 00:35:58,067 Tanisha: I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT. 712 00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:03,733 LIKE, EVERYTHING THAT I LOST, I'VE GAINED BACK. 713 00:36:07,500 --> 00:36:11,067 I'M VERY DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF. 714 00:36:11,067 --> 00:36:13,433 YOU KNOW, I'LL SAY THE NUMBERS DON'T LIE, 715 00:36:13,433 --> 00:36:18,333 SO I HAVE TO FACE REALITY, 716 00:36:18,333 --> 00:36:21,467 AND I KNOW THAT THE ROAD THAT I'M GOING 717 00:36:21,467 --> 00:36:23,167 IS DEFINITELY NOT HEALTHY. 718 00:36:29,767 --> 00:36:32,133 HELLO. HELLO, HOW ARE YOU. 719 00:36:32,133 --> 00:36:34,733 ALL RIGHT. HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING? 720 00:36:34,733 --> 00:36:36,867 ALL RIGHT. 721 00:36:36,867 --> 00:36:40,933 TELL ME WHAT'S HAPPENING. 722 00:36:40,933 --> 00:36:43,400 WELL, I KNOW I SEE I'VE GAINED. 723 00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:44,867 BASICALLY, EVERYTHING THAT I LOST, 724 00:36:44,867 --> 00:36:47,167 I'VE GAINED IT BACK. 725 00:36:47,167 --> 00:36:49,200 SO, I'M DEFINITELY NOT HAPPY ABOUT THAT. 726 00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:50,233 SO, WHAT HAPPENED? 727 00:36:50,233 --> 00:36:53,067 I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU FOR SIX MONTHS. 728 00:36:53,067 --> 00:36:55,200 LIFE CHANGES IN GENERAL -- 729 00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:56,533 NOT MAKING ANY EXCUSE, 730 00:36:56,533 --> 00:36:59,833 BUT DEFINITELY DIFFERENT, STRESSFUL SITUATIONS, 731 00:36:59,833 --> 00:37:02,200 NOT THE RIGHT SUPPORT, THINGS LIKE THAT, 732 00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:04,767 AND I ALLOWED IT TO GET TO ME. 733 00:37:04,767 --> 00:37:07,300 BUT I KNOW I WASN'T DOING WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO. 734 00:37:07,300 --> 00:37:10,700 I WASN'T EATING RIGHT, YOU KNOW, MOVING, 735 00:37:10,700 --> 00:37:12,333 ANYTHING LIKE THAT, SO... 736 00:37:12,333 --> 00:37:15,100 SO, LET ME EXPLAIN THE SITUATION TO YOU. 737 00:37:15,100 --> 00:37:17,067 YOU GAINED MORE WEIGHT, 738 00:37:17,067 --> 00:37:20,200 AND YOUR BMI IS 100. 739 00:37:22,233 --> 00:37:23,367 100. 740 00:37:23,367 --> 00:37:28,467 THAT'S VERY HIGH RISK FOR ANY KIND OF SITUATION. 741 00:37:28,467 --> 00:37:31,400 IF YOU GET EVEN THE FLU, 742 00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:32,967 I DON'T THINK YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT. 743 00:37:34,533 --> 00:37:37,233 SO, I DON'T THINK YOU REALIZE 744 00:37:37,233 --> 00:37:39,767 HOW DANGEROUS THIS SITUATION IS. 745 00:37:39,767 --> 00:37:41,433 I DEFINITELY REALIZE THAT. 746 00:37:41,433 --> 00:37:42,767 I MEAN, THAT'S WHY I'M REACHING OUT. 747 00:37:42,767 --> 00:37:44,567 WHEN YOU HAVE AN ADDICTION PROBLEM, 748 00:37:44,567 --> 00:37:46,433 YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE SUPPORT, 749 00:37:46,433 --> 00:37:47,700 THE MOTIVATION, ALL OF THAT, 750 00:37:47,700 --> 00:37:50,067 AND I HAVE A BETTER SUPPORT SYSTEM NOW, 751 00:37:50,067 --> 00:37:51,300 AND I'M JUST -- 752 00:37:51,300 --> 00:37:52,867 I'M READY TO DO WHAT I NEED TO DO. 753 00:37:52,867 --> 00:37:54,300 AND SO, TELL ME ABOUT 754 00:37:54,300 --> 00:37:56,167 WHAT'S GONNA BE DIFFERENT THIS TIME? 755 00:37:56,167 --> 00:37:57,367 [ SIGHS ] 756 00:37:57,367 --> 00:37:59,767 I WAS DEALING WITH A HUSBAND 757 00:37:59,767 --> 00:38:02,433 THAT WAS NEVER THERE, NEVER SUPPORTED ME, 758 00:38:02,433 --> 00:38:03,800 STILL DEALING WITH THE DEATH OF MY MOM. 759 00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:05,400 SO I'M NOW I'M GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE 760 00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:06,900 AND, YOU KNOW -- 761 00:38:06,900 --> 00:38:09,500 BASICALLY ALL THE NEGATIVE THING ARE GONE. 762 00:38:11,067 --> 00:38:14,233 TANISHA ESSENTIALLY JUST DECIDED TO QUIT THE PROGRAM 763 00:38:14,233 --> 00:38:16,467 FOR THE PAST SIX MONTHS, 764 00:38:16,467 --> 00:38:18,567 AND MY BIGGEST CONCERN IS HER BELIEF 765 00:38:18,567 --> 00:38:20,967 THAT THE STRESS AND HARD TIME 766 00:38:20,967 --> 00:38:24,600 JUSTIFY ABUSING HER BODY LIKE SHE HAS. 767 00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:26,333 BUT, HOPEFULLY, SHE'S NOT BACK 768 00:38:26,333 --> 00:38:29,933 ONLY UNTIL SOMETHING STRESSFUL HAPPENS AGAIN. 769 00:38:29,933 --> 00:38:32,333 I REALLY DOUBT THAT YOU'RE GONNA MAKE 770 00:38:32,333 --> 00:38:35,433 ANY SIGNIFICANT CHANGES FROM LAST TIME, 771 00:38:35,433 --> 00:38:37,767 BUT I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A CHANCE, OKAY? 772 00:38:37,767 --> 00:38:39,067 THANK YOU. 773 00:38:39,067 --> 00:38:40,567 HERE'S THE LIST AGAIN. 774 00:38:40,567 --> 00:38:45,067 SO YOU CAN GO BACK TO A 1,200-CALORIE-A-DAY DIET. 775 00:38:45,067 --> 00:38:48,700 THIS IS A LIST OF ALL ITEMS AND FOR THE FOOD 776 00:38:48,700 --> 00:38:51,333 THAT YOU NEED TO AVOID, OKAY? 777 00:38:51,333 --> 00:38:54,067 SO YOU'VE RUN OUT OF EXCUSES. 778 00:38:54,067 --> 00:38:56,333 NOW IT'S TIME TO CHANGE. 779 00:38:56,333 --> 00:38:59,700 AND I WANT YOU TO LOSE 30 POUNDS OVER THE NEXT MONTH, 780 00:38:59,700 --> 00:39:01,433 JUST LIKE YOUR FIRST TIME. 781 00:39:01,433 --> 00:39:02,967 OKAY. SOUNDS GOOD. 782 00:39:02,967 --> 00:39:05,633 SO, WE'RE GONNA MAKE THE CHANGES, RIGHT? 783 00:39:05,633 --> 00:39:07,067 DEFINITELY. 784 00:39:07,067 --> 00:39:09,967 AND, DAVID, I HOPE YOU WILL HELP HER TO DO THIS. 785 00:39:09,967 --> 00:39:10,967 YOU KNOW, I'LL DO THE BEST I CAN, 786 00:39:10,967 --> 00:39:13,400 BUT I KNOW SHE'LL BE ABLE TO DO IT. 787 00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:14,467 ALL RIGHT. 788 00:39:16,867 --> 00:39:19,167 GOD. 789 00:39:19,767 --> 00:39:21,767 HE MIGHT AS WELL HAVE JUST PUT ON HERE 790 00:39:21,767 --> 00:39:23,833 "DON'T EAT NOTHING." 791 00:39:23,833 --> 00:39:25,833 LORD. 792 00:39:25,833 --> 00:39:27,867 WHEN YOU HAVE A DOCTOR SAYING, "HEY," YOU KNOW, 793 00:39:27,867 --> 00:39:29,733 "IF YOU DON'T GET THIS UNDER CONTROL, 794 00:39:29,733 --> 00:39:31,433 THAT'S IT," YOU KNOW, "YOU'RE NOT GONNA LIVE." 795 00:39:31,433 --> 00:39:35,733 THAT'S A REALITY CHECK. 796 00:39:35,733 --> 00:39:38,967 AND I KNOW I HAVE TO REALLY PROVE MYSELF THIS TIME. 797 00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:45,333 SO I'M GONNA WORK HARDER THAN BEFORE TO HIT HIS GOAL 798 00:39:45,333 --> 00:39:49,933 SO I CAN GET APPROVED FOR SURGERY. 799 00:39:49,933 --> 00:39:52,133 BUT I'M FEELING HOPEFUL... 800 00:39:56,067 --> 00:39:59,067 ...AND FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION RIGHT NOW. 801 00:39:59,067 --> 00:40:01,567 I HAVE TO DO IT. 802 00:40:03,033 --> 00:40:09,067 ** 803 00:40:09,067 --> 00:40:11,433 SINCE I LAST SAW THE DOCTOR, 804 00:40:11,433 --> 00:40:14,800 I'VE BEEN FULLY COMMITTED TO THE DIET, 805 00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:19,433 AND I'M ONLY EATING WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO BE EATING. 806 00:40:19,433 --> 00:40:21,300 I CAN HONESTLY SAY THIS TIME AROUND, 807 00:40:21,300 --> 00:40:23,533 I HAVE HAD NO SET BACKS, 808 00:40:23,533 --> 00:40:25,467 BECAUSE THE MORE I DO IT, 809 00:40:25,467 --> 00:40:27,700 THE MORE IT'S BECOMING NATURAL TO ME. 810 00:40:30,167 --> 00:40:33,733 I GET MY LITTLE PORTION TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY, 811 00:40:33,733 --> 00:40:35,633 AND THAT'S IT. 812 00:40:35,633 --> 00:40:39,100 SCOOT. 813 00:40:39,100 --> 00:40:40,200 IT'S REALLY NOT BAD, THOUGH. 814 00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:41,767 LIKE, I COULD EAT IT ON A REGULAR BASIS, 815 00:40:41,767 --> 00:40:43,700 ESPECIALLY EATING LIKE THIS. 816 00:40:43,700 --> 00:40:45,233 I REALLY COULD. 817 00:40:45,233 --> 00:40:47,133 AND I'M ALSO MAKING MY DAUGHTERS 818 00:40:47,133 --> 00:40:49,800 STICK TO WHAT I EAT WITH ME. 819 00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:52,133 Jer'Monika: NOT BAD. 820 00:40:52,133 --> 00:40:54,733 UGH! YOU SAY "UGH" NOW. 821 00:40:54,733 --> 00:40:59,200 I'M TRYING TO PREVENT YOU FROM GETTING THIS SIZE. 822 00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:01,800 IT'S NOT NO FUN. 823 00:41:04,233 --> 00:41:06,233 Tanisha: I THINK THE LIFESTYLE CHANGE 824 00:41:06,233 --> 00:41:08,500 HAS AFFECTED EVERYONE IN A POSITIVE WAY, 825 00:41:08,500 --> 00:41:11,800 BECAUSE THEY SEE ME GETTING UP AND DOING THINGS FOR MYSELF 826 00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:14,367 AND GETTING UP AND WANTING TO DO THINGS WITH THEM. 827 00:41:14,367 --> 00:41:16,367 SO EVERYBODY'S HAPPY. 828 00:41:16,367 --> 00:41:19,133 BE WITH ME, JESUS. 829 00:41:19,133 --> 00:41:21,267 EVERY TIME I'VE EVER CAME OUT OF MY HOUSE 830 00:41:21,267 --> 00:41:23,500 HAS ALWAYS BEEN IN THE WHEELCHAIR. 831 00:41:24,100 --> 00:41:29,400 SO ACTUALLY SEE YOUR MAMA WALK SO DIFFERENT. 832 00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:32,300 TO BE ABLE TO STEP OUTSIDE THE DOOR, 833 00:41:32,300 --> 00:41:33,700 NOT "I ROLLED OUT," 834 00:41:33,700 --> 00:41:36,133 BUT TO SAY "I WALKED OUTSIDE MY DOOR," 835 00:41:36,133 --> 00:41:39,467 FOR SOMEBODY WHO'S BEEN BEDRIDDEN FOR YEARS, 836 00:41:39,467 --> 00:41:41,367 THAT'S A LOT. 837 00:41:41,367 --> 00:41:43,300 OHH. 838 00:41:43,300 --> 00:41:45,067 THANK YOU, JESUS. 839 00:41:45,067 --> 00:41:46,500 OH, LORD. 840 00:41:46,500 --> 00:41:48,300 OH! 841 00:41:48,300 --> 00:41:50,300 THANK YOU, LORD. 842 00:41:50,300 --> 00:41:52,167 [ EXHALING DEEPLY ] 843 00:41:52,167 --> 00:41:53,233 Malayzha: LOOK. 844 00:41:53,233 --> 00:41:55,600 I WENT FROM THIS SIDE TO THIS SIDE. 845 00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:58,600 [ SIGHS HEAVILY ] 846 00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:02,567 [ SNIFFLING ] 847 00:42:02,567 --> 00:42:04,400 [ Crying ] THANK YOU, JESUS. 848 00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:08,500 [ Voice breaking ] I'M SO GRATEFUL TO GOD... 849 00:42:12,133 --> 00:42:14,067 ...FOR THE PUSH 850 00:42:14,067 --> 00:42:15,133 AND THE WILLPOWER AND THE STRENGTH. 851 00:42:15,133 --> 00:42:19,600 THE STRENGTH... 852 00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:23,067 WE GIVE IN TO PAIN SO MUCH. 853 00:42:23,067 --> 00:42:26,300 WE JUST SIT THERE, AND WE WALLOW IT IN FOR SO LONG. 854 00:42:31,700 --> 00:42:34,500 BUT WHEN I SEE THE LOOK ON HER FACE, 855 00:42:34,500 --> 00:42:36,100 JUST ME BEING HERE, 856 00:42:36,100 --> 00:42:38,800 AND AS SHE CHEERS ME ON, 857 00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:40,933 IT MAKES IT ALL WORTH IT. 858 00:42:43,067 --> 00:42:44,667 YOU STARTING ALREADY, GIRL. 859 00:42:44,667 --> 00:42:45,867 YOU CLOWNING YOURSELF. 860 00:42:45,867 --> 00:42:47,067 [ LAUGHS ] 861 00:42:47,067 --> 00:42:48,567 Tanisha: YOU'RE CLOWNING. 862 00:42:50,700 --> 00:42:52,167 THERE'S GONNA COME A DAY 863 00:42:52,167 --> 00:42:54,733 WHEN I DON'T HAVE TO WALK AND GET TIRED, 864 00:42:54,733 --> 00:42:56,867 AND I DON'T HAVE TO WALK AND SIT. 865 00:42:58,900 --> 00:43:01,400 EVERYTHING I LOST, I'M GONNA GET BACK. 866 00:43:04,467 --> 00:43:06,067 Malayzha: YES. YES. 867 00:43:06,067 --> 00:43:07,067 WHY? 868 00:43:07,067 --> 00:43:10,067 'CAUSE I WANT TO SWIM WITH YOU. 869 00:43:10,067 --> 00:43:11,967 WHEN I SEE DR. NOW NEXT WEEK, 870 00:43:11,967 --> 00:43:14,433 I'M HOPING TO SHOW HIM EXACTLY WHAT HE NEEDS TO SEE 871 00:43:14,433 --> 00:43:17,600 TO PROVE TO HIM I'M COMMITTED AND I CAN DO THIS. 872 00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:20,633 ** 873 00:43:28,867 --> 00:43:30,267 [ SIGHS ] 874 00:43:30,267 --> 00:43:35,433 I'M HERE TO SEE DR. NOW AGAIN FOR MY FOURTH APPOINTMENT. 875 00:43:35,433 --> 00:43:37,567 MY LAST DOCTOR'S VISIT 876 00:43:37,567 --> 00:43:40,733 DIDN'T GO ACCORDING TO HOW I THOUGHT IT SHOULD, 877 00:43:40,733 --> 00:43:42,967 AND IT WAS A REALITY CHECK FOR ME. 878 00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:47,600 AND HE WANTED ME TO LOSE 30 POUNDS, 879 00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:53,067 SO HOPEFULLY, I'VE LOST WHAT HE WANTED ME TO LOSE. 880 00:43:53,067 --> 00:43:55,400 I'M DOWN TO MY LAST CHANCE. 881 00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:57,533 MY PROGRESS TODAY IS GOING TO DETERMINE 882 00:43:57,533 --> 00:44:00,100 IF I'M EVER GOING TO GET THIS SURGERY. 883 00:44:03,900 --> 00:44:06,933 ** 884 00:44:11,067 --> 00:44:13,733 Tanisha: I'M AT DR. NOW'S TO SEE HOW MUCH PROGRESS I MADE 885 00:44:13,733 --> 00:44:15,633 OVER THE LAST MONTH. 886 00:44:15,633 --> 00:44:20,067 HE NEEDED ME TO LOSE 30 POUNDS AND GET UNDER 558. 887 00:44:20,067 --> 00:44:22,133 SO I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS RIGHT NOW, 888 00:44:22,133 --> 00:44:23,667 BUT I'M CONFIDENT I DID WELL 889 00:44:23,667 --> 00:44:25,500 BECAUSE I'VE BEEN WORKING AS HARD AS I CAN. 890 00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:30,133 WHAT? 891 00:44:30,133 --> 00:44:31,700 [ CHUCKLES ] 892 00:44:32,733 --> 00:44:36,400 YES! YES. 893 00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:39,067 WOW. 894 00:44:39,067 --> 00:44:40,867 I'M VERY RELIEVED. 895 00:44:40,867 --> 00:44:43,067 I HAVE MIXED EMOTIONS. 896 00:44:43,067 --> 00:44:45,200 ONE PART OF ME WAS LIKE, "YOU'VE DONE THE WORK," 897 00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:46,533 BUT THEN THERE'S STILL, 898 00:44:46,533 --> 00:44:48,867 "OKAY, WELL, WHAT IF YOU DIDN'T DO ENOUGH?" 899 00:44:48,867 --> 00:44:52,767 I'M PRAYING THAT HE SAYS I'VE LOST ENOUGH WEIGHT AND, 900 00:44:52,767 --> 00:44:54,133 "LET'S GET YOU APPROVED FOR SURGERY." 901 00:44:54,133 --> 00:44:55,700 THAT'S THE ONLY THING I REALLY WANT TO HEAR RIGHT NOW. 902 00:44:55,700 --> 00:44:57,567 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 903 00:44:57,567 --> 00:44:59,267 HELLO. [ CHUCKLES ] 904 00:44:59,267 --> 00:45:00,767 HOW ARE WE DOING? 905 00:45:00,767 --> 00:45:02,667 NOT BAD. ARE WE DOING OKAY? 906 00:45:02,667 --> 00:45:05,133 DOING FINE. ALL RIGHT, SUPER. 907 00:45:05,133 --> 00:45:08,500 SO, I SEE YOU LOST SOME WEIGHT SINCE LAST TIME. 908 00:45:08,500 --> 00:45:11,500 SO, YOU'RE DOING GOOD WITH YOUR DIET, HUH? 909 00:45:11,500 --> 00:45:12,700 DOING GREAT. 910 00:45:12,700 --> 00:45:15,067 I'M HAPPY YOU'RE LOSING WEIGHT AGAIN, 911 00:45:15,067 --> 00:45:16,467 BUT I'M A LITTLE BIT CONCERNED 912 00:45:16,467 --> 00:45:19,867 THAT YOU DIDN'T QUITE GET TO THE 30-POUND WEIGHT LOSS. 913 00:45:19,867 --> 00:45:22,067 WHAT IS YOUR LEVEL OF ACTIVITY? 914 00:45:22,067 --> 00:45:23,433 I'VE BEEN MOVING MORE. 915 00:45:23,433 --> 00:45:26,767 I USED TO JUST DO EXERCISE IN THE BED SOMETIME, YOU KNOW, 916 00:45:26,767 --> 00:45:28,733 BUT NOW I'M STARTING TO GET UP AND WALK MORE. 917 00:45:28,733 --> 00:45:31,600 YOU KNOW, IT HURTS, BUT I PUSH MYSELF. 918 00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:33,767 ALL RIGHT. THIS IS A GOOD START, 919 00:45:33,767 --> 00:45:37,800 BUT IF YOU ARE ACTUALLY ON A 1,200-CALORIE-A-DAY DIET, 920 00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:41,133 AT YOUR WEIGHT, YOU COULD HAVE EASILY LOST 40 POUNDS 921 00:45:41,133 --> 00:45:43,067 THIS PAST MONTH. OKAY. 922 00:45:43,067 --> 00:45:45,467 SO, THAT TELLS ME THAT YOU HAVE CUT BACK, 923 00:45:45,467 --> 00:45:48,333 BUT THERE ARE STILL SOME FOOD AND BIG PORTIONS 924 00:45:48,333 --> 00:45:50,567 THAT YOU'RE NOT CHANGING. OKAY. 925 00:45:50,567 --> 00:45:53,467 SO, WHAT I NEED YOU TO DO IS STICK WITH IT 926 00:45:53,467 --> 00:45:56,067 AND HIT THE 30-POUND WEIGHT-LOSS GOAL 927 00:45:56,067 --> 00:45:57,300 I GAVE YOU, OKAY? 928 00:45:57,300 --> 00:45:58,633 OKAY? KEEP AT IT, 929 00:45:58,633 --> 00:46:01,767 AND I'LL SEE YOU NEXT MONTH. 930 00:46:01,767 --> 00:46:04,533 Dr. Nowzaradan: I'M HAPPY THAT TANISHA IS MAKING SOME PROGRESS, 931 00:46:04,533 --> 00:46:06,167 BUT THERE'S NO REASON 932 00:46:06,167 --> 00:46:09,600 SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE LOST 30 POUNDS LAST MONTH. 933 00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:12,433 AND HER HISTORY OVER THE LAST NINE MONTHS 934 00:46:12,433 --> 00:46:13,800 HAS ME CONCERNED 935 00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:18,133 THAT SHE'S JUST WORKING A LITTLE BIT HARDER TEMPORARILY. 936 00:46:18,133 --> 00:46:20,467 SO I NEED TO SEE MORE PROGRESS FROM HER 937 00:46:20,467 --> 00:46:22,400 BEFORE I'M CONFIDENT THAT SHE'S READY 938 00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:26,867 FOR THE NEXT BIG STEP LIKE SURGERY. 939 00:46:26,867 --> 00:46:28,800 Tanisha: I'M A LITTLE FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW 940 00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:30,700 'CAUSE I'M WORKING HARD, 941 00:46:30,700 --> 00:46:34,867 AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE I CAN DO TO PROVE IT TO HIM. 942 00:46:34,867 --> 00:46:36,533 THERE'S A PART OF ME THAT'S NOT SURE 943 00:46:36,533 --> 00:46:39,367 I WANT TO KEEP DOING THIS OR TRY ANYMORE 944 00:46:39,367 --> 00:46:42,333 BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I'VE DONE ENOUGH. 945 00:46:42,333 --> 00:46:43,800 BUT I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE 946 00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:46,933 BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO LOSE THIS CHANCE. 947 00:46:46,933 --> 00:46:49,567 ** 948 00:46:59,067 --> 00:47:02,200 IT'S BEEN A FEW WEEKS SINCE I'VE SAW DR. NOW, 949 00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:04,767 AND I'VE BEEN STICKING TO THE DIET. 950 00:47:04,767 --> 00:47:06,267 BUT FOR THIS WEEK, 951 00:47:06,267 --> 00:47:08,667 I'M JUST TAKING A LITTLE BREAK FROM IT ALL. 952 00:47:08,667 --> 00:47:12,233 THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF STRESSFUL THINGS GOING ON, 953 00:47:12,233 --> 00:47:14,433 AND IT WAS REALLY HARD TO GET LET DOWN LIKE THAT 954 00:47:14,433 --> 00:47:16,067 WHEN I SAW THE DOCTOR LAST. 955 00:47:17,967 --> 00:47:19,133 HOLY MERCY. 956 00:47:19,133 --> 00:47:21,667 OH, LET ME SEE... 957 00:47:21,667 --> 00:47:24,400 WHAT'S THE CLOSEST THING FOR ME TO SNACK ON? 958 00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:26,733 ** 959 00:47:26,733 --> 00:47:27,933 [ GRUNTS ] 960 00:47:27,933 --> 00:47:29,933 SO I'M GIVING IN A LILLIE BIT... 961 00:47:29,933 --> 00:47:33,267 MERCY, JESUS. 962 00:47:33,267 --> 00:47:37,133 ...AND I'M NOT GONNA LIE -- I HAVE BEEN EATING FAST FOOD. 963 00:47:39,233 --> 00:47:41,467 AND EATING SOME OF THE FOOD I REALLY LIKE 964 00:47:41,467 --> 00:47:44,800 BEFORE I GO BACK ON THE DIET. 965 00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:46,733 BUT WHEN I REALLY THINK ABOUT IT ALL, 966 00:47:46,733 --> 00:47:50,667 DR. NOW DIDN'T REALLY GIVE ME A GOOD PLAN TO FOLLOW. 967 00:47:50,667 --> 00:47:52,467 IT'S IMPORTANT FOR ME TO HAVE A GAME PLAN 968 00:47:52,467 --> 00:47:55,933 BECAUSE FOR SOMEONE WHO'S USED TO EATING WHATEVER, 969 00:47:55,933 --> 00:47:58,433 WHENEVER -- YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE YOU NEED STRUCTURE. 970 00:47:58,433 --> 00:48:00,800 SO IT'S DEFINITELY FRUSTRATING. 971 00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:03,333 ** 972 00:48:03,333 --> 00:48:05,167 WHAT IS THAT? 973 00:48:05,167 --> 00:48:08,067 A SHAKE. 974 00:48:08,067 --> 00:48:09,600 WHAT KIND OF SHAKE? 975 00:48:13,500 --> 00:48:15,167 ** 976 00:48:15,167 --> 00:48:17,400 I SEE THE DOCTOR AGAIN SOON, 977 00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:20,933 AND I'M GONNA START EATING RIGHT AGAIN IN A FEW DAYS 978 00:48:20,933 --> 00:48:24,433 AND STAY ON THE DIET SO I HAVE PROGRESS TO SHOW HIM. 979 00:48:24,433 --> 00:48:28,200 AND I'M HOPING THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH FOR HIM TO APPROVE ME. 980 00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:30,200 'CAUSE I HAVE BEEN WORKING HARD, 981 00:48:30,200 --> 00:48:32,733 AND I DESERVE TO BE ABLE TO GET WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. 982 00:48:32,733 --> 00:48:35,767 ** 983 00:48:42,900 --> 00:48:45,100 I'M HEADED TO SEE DR. NOW AGAIN, 984 00:48:45,100 --> 00:48:49,600 AND I JUST WANT TO GET THIS APPOINTMENT OVER WITH. 985 00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:52,467 I KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN DOING AS WELL ON MY DIET, 986 00:48:52,467 --> 00:48:54,633 SO I JUST WANT TO GET THERE AND FIND OUT 987 00:48:54,633 --> 00:48:57,500 IF I'M GETTING WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. 988 00:48:57,500 --> 00:48:59,067 ** 989 00:48:59,067 --> 00:49:01,933 WHEW! 990 00:49:01,933 --> 00:49:05,167 BUT I'VE PUSHED MYSELF TO DO THIS FOR MONTHS NOW, 991 00:49:05,167 --> 00:49:08,900 AND I'VE DONE ALL I CAN TO PROVE THAT I'M READY. 992 00:49:08,900 --> 00:49:11,333 SO I THINK IT'S TIME I GET TO MOVE FORWARD, 993 00:49:11,333 --> 00:49:14,067 AND I'M HOPING TODAY IS THE DAY I GET APPROVED. 994 00:49:14,067 --> 00:49:17,067 ** 995 00:49:20,467 --> 00:49:23,667 THE SCALE SAYS I GAINED A POUND. 996 00:49:23,667 --> 00:49:28,100 THAT'S A LITTLE DISAPPOINTING, BUT IT'S NOT A HUGE GAIN. 997 00:49:28,100 --> 00:49:30,667 I FEEL DR. NOW -- HE'S NOT GONNA BE PLEASED 998 00:49:30,667 --> 00:49:33,500 BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU'RE WORKING ON LOSING WEIGHT, 999 00:49:33,500 --> 00:49:36,733 YOU KNOW, HE'S NOT EXPECTING YOU TO BE GAINING. 1000 00:49:36,733 --> 00:49:38,533 Tanisha: HOO, ALL RIGHT. 1001 00:49:38,533 --> 00:49:40,500 HELLO. HELLO, HELLO. 1002 00:49:40,500 --> 00:49:42,300 HOW ARE YOU TODAY? 1003 00:49:42,300 --> 00:49:43,967 COULD BE BETTER. 1004 00:49:43,967 --> 00:49:46,100 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "COULD BE BETTER"? 1005 00:49:46,100 --> 00:49:49,067 DEPENDING ON WHAT YOU'RE GONNA SAY. 1006 00:49:49,067 --> 00:49:51,400 ALL RIGHT, TANISHA, LET'S SEE... 1007 00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:54,467 A MONTH AGO, YOU WERE 561 POUNDS... 1008 00:49:54,467 --> 00:49:56,100 YEAH, I GAINED A POUND. 1009 00:49:56,100 --> 00:49:59,700 ...AND NOW YOU'RE 562. 1010 00:49:59,700 --> 00:50:03,633 WHY IS IT THAT YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR EATING HABIT AT ALL? 1011 00:50:03,633 --> 00:50:05,933 I KNOW I'M AN EMOTIONAL EATER. 1012 00:50:05,933 --> 00:50:07,633 I KNOW THAT ABOUT MYSELF. 1013 00:50:07,633 --> 00:50:08,667 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 1014 00:50:08,667 --> 00:50:11,133 ANY STRESS THAT ARISES IN MY LIFE -- 1015 00:50:11,133 --> 00:50:13,333 SNACKING, YOU KNOW. 1016 00:50:13,333 --> 00:50:14,567 AND NOW THAT I'M DEALING WITH 1017 00:50:14,567 --> 00:50:16,967 A LOT OF STRESSFUL THINGS BESIDES MY HEALTH, 1018 00:50:16,967 --> 00:50:18,300 THAT'S WHAT I RUN TO. 1019 00:50:18,300 --> 00:50:21,767 THAT IS YOUR EXCUSE TO YOURSELF, 1020 00:50:21,767 --> 00:50:24,633 AND IT'S ONLY ACCEPTABLE TO YOU. 1021 00:50:24,633 --> 00:50:26,767 WHAT HAPPENED TO STICKING TO THE PLAN? 1022 00:50:26,767 --> 00:50:28,100 [ CHUCKLES ] 1023 00:50:28,100 --> 00:50:29,900 IT WENT OUT THE WINDOW. 1024 00:50:29,900 --> 00:50:32,300 Dr. Nowzaradan: TANISHA IS VERY UNRELIABLE. 1025 00:50:32,300 --> 00:50:34,767 SHE'S NOT ABLE TO CONTROL HER EATING HABIT, 1026 00:50:34,767 --> 00:50:37,567 AND THERE'S NO REASON TO START ANY JOURNEY 1027 00:50:37,567 --> 00:50:38,767 AT WEIGHT LOSS 1028 00:50:38,767 --> 00:50:42,233 AND NOT BE ABLE TO EVEN LOSE A FEW POUNDS. 1029 00:50:42,233 --> 00:50:44,267 RIGHT NOW SHE HAS A LONG WAY TO GO 1030 00:50:44,267 --> 00:50:48,233 BEFORE SHE'S A CANDIDATE FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. 1031 00:50:48,233 --> 00:50:50,567 YOU AREN'T GETTING ANY OF THIS, TANISHA. 1032 00:50:50,567 --> 00:50:52,433 WELL, WHAT I'M SAYING IS WHEN I GET STRESSED, 1033 00:50:52,433 --> 00:50:54,133 I LOSE FOCUS, IS BASICALLY WHAT I'M SAYING. 1034 00:50:54,133 --> 00:50:56,300 ALL RIGHT. THE STRESS IS NOT GONNA GO AWAY, 1035 00:50:56,300 --> 00:50:58,500 YOUR BEHAVIOR IS NOT GONNA CHANGE, 1036 00:50:58,500 --> 00:51:01,867 THE SURGERY IS NOT GONNA CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR. 1037 00:51:01,867 --> 00:51:03,600 YOU DON'T SEE YOUR EXCUSES, 1038 00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:07,067 AND YOU DON'T SEE HOW CLOSE YOU ARE TO DEATH. 1039 00:51:07,067 --> 00:51:09,067 YOU'RE THE ONE -- YOU'RE MAKING A CHOICE, 1040 00:51:09,067 --> 00:51:12,400 AND YOU'RE THE ONE WHO DOESN'T DO WHAT YOU NEED. 1041 00:51:13,433 --> 00:51:16,700 AND I KIND OF LAUGH TO -- 1042 00:51:16,700 --> 00:51:20,700 TO KEEP FROM GETTING SO AGGRAVATED. 1043 00:51:20,700 --> 00:51:21,700 MM. 1044 00:51:21,700 --> 00:51:23,933 I'M HERE TO HELP YOU SAVE YOUR LIFE, 1045 00:51:23,933 --> 00:51:26,500 NOT FIND A WAY TO HELP YOU 1046 00:51:26,500 --> 00:51:29,233 TO JUSTIFY KILLING YOURSELF FASTER. 1047 00:51:29,233 --> 00:51:31,900 SCREW THIS WHOLE PROCESS. 1048 00:51:31,900 --> 00:51:34,133 ALL RIGHT. 1049 00:51:34,133 --> 00:51:36,433 THIS IS THE END OF THE LINE FOR TANISHA 1050 00:51:36,433 --> 00:51:38,533 IF SHE'S NOT TAKING SURGERY SERIOUSLY 1051 00:51:38,533 --> 00:51:41,833 AND SHE'S NOT ABLE TO FOLLOW THE DIET. 1052 00:51:41,833 --> 00:51:44,567 THAT'S A VERY BAD SIGN THAT SURGERY'S NOT GONNA BE 1053 00:51:44,567 --> 00:51:46,567 THE RIGHT ANSWER FOR HER. 1054 00:51:46,567 --> 00:51:49,633 HOPEFULLY, SHE DECIDES TO MAKE THE CHANGES SHE NEEDS 1055 00:51:49,633 --> 00:51:53,267 AND STICKS TO IT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE. 1056 00:51:53,267 --> 00:51:56,300 I FEEL LIKE CRAP RIGHT NOW. 1057 00:51:56,300 --> 00:51:58,267 [ SNIFFLES ] 1058 00:51:58,267 --> 00:52:02,833 EVEN THOUGH I'M COMING FORTH AND I'M BEING HONEST 1059 00:52:02,833 --> 00:52:05,067 THAT I DIDN'T PUT THE WORK IN, 1060 00:52:05,067 --> 00:52:06,900 I ATE WHAT I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO EAT -- 1061 00:52:06,900 --> 00:52:08,367 EVEN THOUGH I'M SAYING ALL THAT, 1062 00:52:08,367 --> 00:52:13,333 I FEEL LIKE I WAS MADE TO FEEL BASICALLY LIKE I WAS A LIAR. 1063 00:52:13,333 --> 00:52:14,900 THIS IS AN ADDICTION. 1064 00:52:14,900 --> 00:52:17,067 DON'T SIT UP HERE AND JUST BE LIKE -- 1065 00:52:17,067 --> 00:52:19,933 ACTING LIKE I HAVE A FALSE SENSE OF REALITY OR WHATEVER. 1066 00:52:19,933 --> 00:52:21,533 [ SIGHS ] 1067 00:52:35,900 --> 00:52:38,100 AND I'M PISSED OFF! 1068 00:52:38,100 --> 00:52:39,100 SHOOT. 1069 00:52:39,100 --> 00:52:41,367 YOU KNOW, I'M A FULL-TIME MOM. 1070 00:52:41,367 --> 00:52:45,100 I HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES. 1071 00:52:45,100 --> 00:52:46,967 AND I'VE DONE EVERYTHING HE'S ASKED OF ME 1072 00:52:46,967 --> 00:52:50,067 AND WORKED AS HARD AS I CAN, SO I'M DONE. 1073 00:52:50,067 --> 00:52:51,433 I DON'T NEED HIM, 1074 00:52:51,433 --> 00:52:54,600 AND I'LL BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIS WHOLE PROGRAM. 1075 00:53:00,233 --> 00:53:03,267 [ TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS ] 1076 00:53:35,567 --> 00:53:39,533 HEY, TANISHA? 1077 00:53:41,067 --> 00:53:43,467 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 1078 00:53:43,467 --> 00:53:45,967 ** 1079 00:53:45,967 --> 00:53:49,167 HI, TANISHA. IT'S SARAH FROM THE SHOW. 1080 00:53:49,167 --> 00:53:51,167 WE'RE AT YOUR HOUSE, 1081 00:53:51,167 --> 00:53:54,500 WANTED TO BE LET INSIDE, AND PLEASE GIVE ME A CALL BACK. 1082 00:53:54,500 --> 00:53:56,800 ** 1083 00:53:56,800 --> 00:54:00,833 WE'RE AT TANISHA'S HOUSE TODAY TRYING TO GET INSIDE, 1084 00:54:00,833 --> 00:54:04,100 AND SHE WILL NOT LET US INSIDE. 1085 00:54:04,100 --> 00:54:07,733 ** 1086 00:54:07,733 --> 00:54:12,467 SHE WON'T ANSWER ANY PHONE CALLS OR ANY TEXTS, SO... 1087 00:54:14,733 --> 00:54:17,600 I'M AT A LOSS. 1088 00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:19,533 HEY, THERE SHE IS. 1089 00:54:19,533 --> 00:54:21,433 HEY, TANISHA? HELLO? 1090 00:54:21,433 --> 00:54:24,467 ** 1091 00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:34,867 HI. HOW ARE YOU? 1092 00:54:37,967 --> 00:54:39,933 IT'S SARAH. HOW ARE YOU? 1093 00:54:41,900 --> 00:54:44,867 YOU HERE? HI. 1094 00:54:55,433 --> 00:54:57,767 I'M SO SORRY TO BOTHER YOU. 1095 00:55:02,600 --> 00:55:04,167 ARE YOU NOT FEELING WELL TODAY? 1096 00:55:04,167 --> 00:55:06,767 Tanisha: IT'S A LOT OF THINGS THAT'S GOING ON. 1097 00:55:06,767 --> 00:55:08,133 AT THE END OF THE DAY, 1098 00:55:08,133 --> 00:55:10,767 I COULD STILL DO THE WEIGHT LOSS WITHOUT DR. NOW 1099 00:55:10,767 --> 00:55:12,633 OR ANY OTHER WEIGHT-LOSS DOCTOR, 1100 00:55:12,633 --> 00:55:14,200 PERIOD, POINT BLANK. 1101 00:55:14,200 --> 00:55:16,800 I DON'T NEED THIS. THIS IS NOT BENEFITING ME. 1102 00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:18,133 MNH-MNH. 1103 00:55:18,133 --> 00:55:21,300 MNH-MNH, MNH-MNH, MNH-MNH. 1104 00:55:21,300 --> 00:55:25,533 I CAN'T. I CANNOT DEAL. 1105 00:55:25,533 --> 00:55:27,500 OH, MY GOD. 1106 00:55:57,133 --> 00:56:00,867 Tanisha: THIS LAST YEAR HAS BEEN REALLY DIFFICULT. 1107 00:56:00,867 --> 00:56:04,067 I'M STILL TRYING TO DEAL WITH THE DEATH OF MY MOM, 1108 00:56:04,067 --> 00:56:06,367 DEALING WITH MY OWN HEALTH ISSUES, 1109 00:56:06,367 --> 00:56:09,067 TRYING TO HAVE A PROSPEROUS RELATIONSHIP, 1110 00:56:09,067 --> 00:56:10,867 TRYING TO RAISE KIDS, 1111 00:56:10,867 --> 00:56:15,067 AND THEN TRYING TO BASICALLY FIND MY OWN LIFE. 1112 00:56:15,067 --> 00:56:16,533 IT'S BEEN ABOUT FIVE MONTHS 1113 00:56:16,533 --> 00:56:20,067 SINCE I STOPPED DR. NOW'S PROGRAM. 1114 00:56:20,067 --> 00:56:24,167 AFTER SEEING HIM THE LAST TIME, I WAS REALLY UPSET FOR A WHILE 1115 00:56:24,167 --> 00:56:26,900 AND DIDN'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE PROGRAM. 1116 00:56:28,700 --> 00:56:30,500 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 1117 00:56:33,067 --> 00:56:35,867 IT KIND OF PUT ME IN A STATE OF DEPRESSION 1118 00:56:35,867 --> 00:56:39,067 AND WITH THAT, ANGER, AS WELL. 1119 00:56:39,067 --> 00:56:43,600 SINCE I BACKED AWAY FROM THE PROGRAM, 1120 00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:46,200 I WENT THROUGH A DOWNWARD SPIRAL FOR, YOU KNOW, A FEW MONTHS. 1121 00:56:46,200 --> 00:56:47,500 I WAS ANGRY WITH MYSELF. 1122 00:56:47,500 --> 00:56:49,933 I WENT BACK TO EATING HOWEVER I WANTED TO EAT, 1123 00:56:49,933 --> 00:56:53,300 BEING LAZY AGAIN, NOT REALLY DOING ANYTHING. 1124 00:56:53,300 --> 00:56:55,667 I'M NOT UPSET ANYMORE, 1125 00:56:55,667 --> 00:56:59,233 BUT I DO THINK THAT I'M DONE WITH THE PROGRAM. 1126 00:56:59,233 --> 00:57:01,467 'LAY, GO SET THIS ON MY DRESSER, PLEASE. 1127 00:57:01,467 --> 00:57:03,967 I HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I WEIGH RIGHT NOW. 1128 00:57:03,967 --> 00:57:06,267 I FEEL LIKE I'M AT LEAST BACK TO MY ORIGINAL WEIGHT, 1129 00:57:06,267 --> 00:57:07,867 IF NOT A LITTLE MORE. 1130 00:57:07,867 --> 00:57:09,600 I'LL EAT THAT, SO... 1131 00:57:09,600 --> 00:57:12,133 Jer'Monika: PHYSICALLY IN THE LAST YEAR, 1132 00:57:12,133 --> 00:57:13,733 MY MOM HAS CHANGED 1133 00:57:13,733 --> 00:57:17,667 BY GAINING MOST OF THE WEIGHT THAT SHE LOST BACK. 1134 00:57:17,667 --> 00:57:20,467 [ SIGHS ] 1135 00:57:20,467 --> 00:57:23,767 SHE HASN'T BEEN STICKING TO ANY TYPE OF DIET PLAN, 1136 00:57:23,767 --> 00:57:26,800 AND I'M DEFINITELY WORRIED ABOUT HER HEALTH. 1137 00:57:26,800 --> 00:57:29,200 ** 1138 00:57:29,200 --> 00:57:32,067 [ GRUNTS ] OH, LORD HAVE MERCY. 1139 00:57:32,067 --> 00:57:34,733 MY HEALTH HAS GOTTEN WORSE AGAIN, 1140 00:57:34,733 --> 00:57:36,533 ESPECIALLY WITH MY BREATHING. 1141 00:57:36,533 --> 00:57:37,767 IT GIVES ME BAD ANXIETY. 1142 00:57:37,767 --> 00:57:40,133 WHEN YOU CAN'T BREATHE, THAT'S AN AWFUL FEELING. 1143 00:57:42,433 --> 00:57:45,300 I DON'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT BEING AT THIS SIZE. 1144 00:57:45,300 --> 00:57:46,433 I'M AT THE POINT NOW 1145 00:57:46,433 --> 00:57:48,600 WHERE I FEEL LIKE I'VE HIT ROCK BOTTOM, 1146 00:57:48,600 --> 00:57:52,433 AND THE ONLY THING AFTER THIS IS DEATH. 1147 00:57:52,433 --> 00:57:56,233 BUT I DON'T WANT TO GIVE UP AND JUST DIE. 1148 00:57:56,233 --> 00:57:59,833 SO I NEED HELP, BUT AT THIS POINT, 1149 00:57:59,833 --> 00:58:02,367 I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE. 1150 00:58:07,900 --> 00:58:14,200 ** 1151 00:58:17,667 --> 00:58:21,067 TODAY, I'M HEADED TO CHURCH WITH THE FAMILY. 1152 00:58:21,067 --> 00:58:23,967 MY FAITH IS VERY IMPORTANT. 1153 00:58:23,967 --> 00:58:25,833 THAT IS THE ONLY THING 1154 00:58:25,833 --> 00:58:29,833 THAT'S GOTTEN ME THROUGH THE PAST FEW MONTHS. 1155 00:58:29,833 --> 00:58:32,100 I'VE BEEN PRAYING A LOT LATELY 1156 00:58:32,100 --> 00:58:34,567 BECAUSE MY BODY HAS BEEN GETTING WORSE 1157 00:58:34,567 --> 00:58:36,500 AND I'M IN A LOT MORE PAIN. 1158 00:58:36,500 --> 00:58:39,367 PRAISE GOD IN FAITHFULNESS... 1159 00:58:39,367 --> 00:58:42,767 Tanisha: I'VE BEEN SCARED, AND I'VE BEEN TAKING THAT FEAR TO GOD. 1160 00:58:42,767 --> 00:58:44,067 Brooks: WELL, I'LL TELL YOU THIS -- 1161 00:58:44,067 --> 00:58:46,667 EVERYONE IN HERE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU -- 1162 00:58:46,667 --> 00:58:49,733 BLESSINGS WILL ONLY COME FROM UNCOMFORTABLE STATES. 1163 00:58:49,733 --> 00:58:51,300 [ CROWD MURMURING ] 1164 00:58:51,300 --> 00:58:52,667 [ APPLAUSE ] 1165 00:58:52,667 --> 00:58:55,400 Tanisha: IT NEVER FAILS -- WHATEVER I'M GOING THROUGH, 1166 00:58:55,400 --> 00:58:56,733 IT SEEMS LIKE MY PASTOR 1167 00:58:56,733 --> 00:59:01,067 IS TALKING DIRECTLY TO ME AND TO MY SITUATION. 1168 00:59:01,067 --> 00:59:02,333 Brooks: YOU WILL NEVER IN LIFE 1169 00:59:02,333 --> 00:59:04,467 BE PREPARED FOR SOMETHING YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO. 1170 00:59:04,467 --> 00:59:05,800 [ APPLAUSE ] 1171 00:59:05,800 --> 00:59:08,400 Tanisha: I THINK THE MAIN WORD TODAY THAT SPOKE TO ME 1172 00:59:08,400 --> 00:59:11,300 WERE WHEN HE SAID THAT BASICALLY, A BLESSING 1173 00:59:11,300 --> 00:59:14,433 WAS COMING OUT OF AN UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATION. 1174 00:59:14,433 --> 00:59:15,900 THAT REALLY STUCK TO ME, 1175 00:59:15,900 --> 00:59:17,133 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH RIGHT NOW. 1176 00:59:17,133 --> 00:59:18,833 ALL RIGHT. [ APPLAUSE ] 1177 00:59:22,600 --> 00:59:24,567 [ APPLAUSE ] 1178 00:59:24,567 --> 00:59:26,900 I KNOW GOD HAS A BLESSING FOR ME, 1179 00:59:26,900 --> 00:59:30,067 BUT I FEEL LIKE I'M COMPLETELY HELPLESS IN MY SITUATION. 1180 00:59:30,067 --> 00:59:32,133 * THE NAME OF JESUS * 1181 00:59:32,133 --> 00:59:34,733 SO I STARTED PRAYING THAT I CAN WORK UP THE COURAGE 1182 00:59:34,733 --> 00:59:37,967 TO GO BACK TO THE DOCTOR AND THAT HE'LL ACTUALLY HELP ME. 1183 00:59:37,967 --> 00:59:41,333 BUT I'VE GONE BACK TO HIM TWICE AND STARTED OVER, 1184 00:59:41,333 --> 00:59:42,833 AND I FAILED BOTH TIMES. 1185 00:59:42,833 --> 00:59:45,733 Brooks: IN THE NAME OF JESUS! 1186 00:59:45,733 --> 00:59:49,067 Tanisha: SO, I HAVE NO IDEA IF HE'LL EVEN CONSIDER ME AGAIN, 1187 00:59:49,067 --> 00:59:52,067 AND THAT MAKES ME SCARED TO EVEN TRY. 1188 00:59:52,067 --> 00:59:54,733 SO, I'M PRAYING GOD GIVES ME THE STRENGTH 1189 00:59:54,733 --> 00:59:57,800 TO AT LEAST FIGHT FOR MY LIFE AND TRY AGAIN. 1190 00:59:57,800 --> 00:59:59,533 JESUS LOVES YOU. 1191 00:59:59,533 --> 01:00:00,900 [ CHEERING ] HALLELUJAH. 1192 01:00:00,900 --> 01:00:03,100 Tanisha: I JUST NEED ONE MORE CHANCE. 1193 01:00:03,100 --> 01:00:04,233 ** 1194 01:00:09,033 --> 01:00:11,900 ** 1195 01:00:22,167 --> 01:00:25,900 HEADED TO DR. NOW'S TODAY FOR A CHECK-UP. 1196 01:00:25,900 --> 01:00:29,133 WE'LL SEE HOW THAT GOES. 1197 01:00:29,133 --> 01:00:32,300 I LOOK AT TODAY AS A FRESH START FOR ME. 1198 01:00:32,300 --> 01:00:34,533 AND I'M PRAYING THAT HE TAKES ME BACK 1199 01:00:34,533 --> 01:00:36,567 AND LETS ME START THE PROGRAM AGAIN. 1200 01:00:40,167 --> 01:00:43,200 IT'S BEYOND TIME FOR ME TO DO SOMETHING. 1201 01:00:45,900 --> 01:00:48,767 BUT I'M REALLY SCARED RIGHT NOW TO FIND OUT 1202 01:00:48,767 --> 01:00:52,267 HOW HE'S GONNA REACT TO ME COMING BACK. 1203 01:00:52,267 --> 01:00:54,000 I'M GONNA DO THAT. 1204 01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:59,233 AND I'M ALSO REALLY NERVOUS TO SEE HOW MUCH WEIGHT I GAINED. 1205 01:00:59,233 --> 01:01:01,500 I'M JUST HOPING I'M NOT TOO MUCH HEAVIER 1206 01:01:01,500 --> 01:01:02,900 THAN WHAT I WAS ORIGINALLY. 1207 01:01:02,900 --> 01:01:06,300 ** 1208 01:01:06,300 --> 01:01:08,500 I CAN'T BELIEVE I'VE GAINED THAT MUCH WEIGHT. 1209 01:01:08,500 --> 01:01:11,900 ** 1210 01:01:13,500 --> 01:01:18,700 THAT NUMBER IS GONNA KEEP FLASHING IN MY HEAD. 1211 01:01:18,700 --> 01:01:25,067 AND I'M SO NERVOUS RIGHT NOW TO EVEN SEE DR. NOW. 1212 01:01:25,067 --> 01:01:27,100 I FEEL LIKE AT THE POINT I'M AT RIGHT NOW, 1213 01:01:27,100 --> 01:01:28,500 YOU KNOW, I'M NOT GONNA GET APPROVED. 1214 01:01:28,500 --> 01:01:30,533 IT'S LIKE, I ALREADY KNOW THAT. 1215 01:01:30,533 --> 01:01:31,633 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 1216 01:01:33,867 --> 01:01:36,067 Dr. Nowzaradan: HELLO! MM. 1217 01:01:36,067 --> 01:01:38,467 HOW ARE YOU? 1218 01:01:38,467 --> 01:01:40,067 I'VE BEEN BETTER. 1219 01:01:40,067 --> 01:01:41,833 COME ON, LET'S GET IT OVER WITH. 1220 01:01:41,833 --> 01:01:44,067 COME ON. 1221 01:01:44,067 --> 01:01:48,367 OKAY, TANISHA, SO, YOU ARE 602 POUNDS -- 1222 01:01:48,367 --> 01:01:49,900 HIGHER THAN EVER. 1223 01:01:49,900 --> 01:01:51,167 YES. 1224 01:01:51,167 --> 01:01:53,700 SO, YOUR EATING HABITS ARE WORSE. 1225 01:01:53,700 --> 01:01:55,667 MM-HMM. IT'S BAD. 1226 01:01:55,667 --> 01:01:58,067 YOU KNOW, SOMETIME -- LIKE, I WON'T EAT ALL DAY, 1227 01:01:58,067 --> 01:02:00,100 AND THEN I'LL BE SO HUNGRY AT NIGHT 1228 01:02:00,100 --> 01:02:02,067 THAT I'LL EAT MORE THAN I SHOULD. 1229 01:02:02,067 --> 01:02:03,933 THAT'S MY MAIN THING, 'CAUSE I HAVE TO -- 1230 01:02:03,933 --> 01:02:06,233 I'M MAKING UP FOR WHAT I DIDN'T EAT. 1231 01:02:06,233 --> 01:02:08,900 ALL RIGHT, SO, HOW DO YOU SEE 1232 01:02:08,900 --> 01:02:12,833 THAT YOU CAN MAKE ANY CHANGES ON YOUR EATING HABIT? 1233 01:02:12,833 --> 01:02:14,233 SOMETHING GOT TO GIVE -- 1234 01:02:14,233 --> 01:02:16,700 I'VE NEVER BEEN THIS BIG IN MY LIFE, 1235 01:02:16,700 --> 01:02:19,167 AND THAT KIND OF HIT ME. 1236 01:02:19,167 --> 01:02:22,367 OKAY. SO, YOU WANT TO START THE PROGRAM AGAIN? 1237 01:02:22,367 --> 01:02:25,833 I MEAN, I WOULDN'T BE HERE IF I DIDN'T WANT TO STICK WITH IT, 1238 01:02:25,833 --> 01:02:27,333 IF I DIDN'T WANT THE HELP. 1239 01:02:27,333 --> 01:02:29,100 I KNOW I NEED THE HELP. OKAY. 1240 01:02:29,100 --> 01:02:30,900 SO, WE CAN DO THAT, 1241 01:02:30,900 --> 01:02:35,300 BUT WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS TO LOSE 30 POUNDS IN ONE MONTH. 1242 01:02:35,300 --> 01:02:39,567 SAME SONG -- HOPEFULLY DIFFERENT DANCE THIS TIME, OKAY? 1243 01:02:39,567 --> 01:02:41,367 [ CHUCKLES ] 1244 01:02:41,367 --> 01:02:43,867 Dr. Nowzaradan: I'M GLAD TANISHA WANTS TO TRY AGAIN, 1245 01:02:43,867 --> 01:02:46,167 BUT IT'S BEEN OVER A YEAR AND A HALF 1246 01:02:46,167 --> 01:02:50,900 SINCE SHE STARTED THIS PROGRAM, AND SHE'S HEAVIER THAN EVER. 1247 01:02:50,900 --> 01:02:53,600 TANISHA'S STARTING TO UNDERSTAND A LITTLE 1248 01:02:53,600 --> 01:02:56,367 ABOUT HOW SERIOUS HER SITUATION IS. 1249 01:02:56,367 --> 01:02:59,700 BUT THAT WON'T MATTER WHEN SHE GETS STRESSED AGAIN. 1250 01:02:59,700 --> 01:03:02,467 SO WE NEED TO ADDRESS HER INABILITY 1251 01:03:02,467 --> 01:03:04,300 TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT MOMENTS 1252 01:03:04,300 --> 01:03:07,533 WITHOUT RUNNING TO FOOD AND MAKING EXCUSES. 1253 01:03:07,533 --> 01:03:10,467 IF SHE DOESN'T DO THIS, SHE LIKELY WON'T SURVIVE 1254 01:03:10,467 --> 01:03:13,400 MORE THAN SIX MONTHS AT THIS POINT. 1255 01:03:13,400 --> 01:03:18,600 YOUR EATING HABIT IS GONNA HAVE TO BE CONTROLLED BY YOU, 1256 01:03:18,600 --> 01:03:20,467 AND YOU'VE TOLD ME A NUMBER OF TIMES 1257 01:03:20,467 --> 01:03:21,733 THAT YOU'RE READY TO WORK, 1258 01:03:21,733 --> 01:03:24,500 BUT YOU GO BACK TO FOOD WHEN YOU'RE STRESSED. 1259 01:03:24,500 --> 01:03:25,833 MM-HMM. 1260 01:03:25,833 --> 01:03:29,667 SO I WANT US TO TAKE A DIFFERENT APPROACH THIS TIME, OKAY? 1261 01:03:29,667 --> 01:03:32,500 I WANT YOU TO SEE A THERAPIST TO START WORKING THROUGH 1262 01:03:32,500 --> 01:03:35,067 HOW YOU HANDLE SOME OF YOUR STRESS. 1263 01:03:35,067 --> 01:03:37,567 SO, ARE YOU WILLING TO DO THAT? 1264 01:03:37,567 --> 01:03:39,233 I THINK THAT WOULD HELP. 1265 01:03:39,233 --> 01:03:41,067 THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE. 1266 01:03:41,067 --> 01:03:43,833 LET'S WORK AT THIS AND DO IT, OKAY? 1267 01:03:43,833 --> 01:03:44,967 OKAY. 1268 01:03:44,967 --> 01:03:46,667 THANK YOU, DR. NOW. ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU THEN. 1269 01:03:46,667 --> 01:03:49,867 MM-HMM. 1270 01:03:50,867 --> 01:03:51,867 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 1271 01:03:51,867 --> 01:03:53,200 Tanisha: I ACTUALLY THOUGHT 1272 01:03:53,200 --> 01:03:56,267 DR. NOW WAS GONNA COME IN AND BE HARD ON ME, 1273 01:03:56,267 --> 01:03:58,667 AND IT'S LIKE HE WAS TO A CERTAIN EXTENT, 1274 01:03:58,667 --> 01:04:00,367 BUT IT'S -- YOU KNOW, IT'S KIND OF LIKE, 1275 01:04:00,367 --> 01:04:02,933 "HEY, YOU NEED TO TAKE THIS SERIOUS." 1276 01:04:05,733 --> 01:04:07,367 HE JUST WANTS THE BEST FOR ME. 1277 01:04:07,367 --> 01:04:09,500 HE WANTS ME TO BE ABLE TO LOSE WEIGHT 1278 01:04:09,500 --> 01:04:11,700 AND LIVE MY OWN LIFE. 1279 01:04:16,300 --> 01:04:18,800 SEEING A THERAPIST IS SOMETHING I'VE NEVER THOUGHT OF 1280 01:04:18,800 --> 01:04:21,633 AND I WOULDN'T NORMALLY DO, BUT I'M WILLING TO DO 1281 01:04:21,633 --> 01:04:24,500 WHATEVER HE THINKS WILL HELP ME SUCCEED RIGHT NOW, 1282 01:04:24,500 --> 01:04:27,300 AND I'M SO THANKFUL TO HAVE ANOTHER CHANCE. 1283 01:04:38,600 --> 01:04:40,200 TODAY, I'M HEADED TO SEE THE THERAPIST 1284 01:04:40,200 --> 01:04:43,200 DR. NOW WANTED ME TO SEE. 1285 01:04:43,200 --> 01:04:46,567 TALKING ABOUT MY FEELINGS IS NOT SOMETHING I WOULD NORMALLY DO. 1286 01:04:46,567 --> 01:04:48,267 ** 1287 01:04:48,267 --> 01:04:52,833 BUT GETTING ON THAT SCALE WAS A WAKE-UP CALL, 1288 01:04:52,833 --> 01:04:54,267 AND I DON'T WANT TO END UP DYING 1289 01:04:54,267 --> 01:04:58,567 BECAUSE MY BODY COULDN'T TAKE MY WEIGHT ANYMORE. 1290 01:04:58,567 --> 01:05:00,700 SO I'M WILLING TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE 1291 01:05:00,700 --> 01:05:05,400 TO DO WHAT I NEED TO START MAKING PROGRESS THAT CAN LAST. 1292 01:05:05,400 --> 01:05:08,067 HI, TANISHA. I AM LAURIE SMITH. 1293 01:05:08,067 --> 01:05:10,067 IT'S VERY NICE TO MEET YOU. NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO. 1294 01:05:10,067 --> 01:05:12,300 YOU READY TO COME ON IN? I'M READY. 1295 01:05:12,300 --> 01:05:13,333 GOOD. 1296 01:05:13,333 --> 01:05:14,967 WE'LL GET STARTED. 1297 01:05:14,967 --> 01:05:16,300 [ SIGHS ] 1298 01:05:16,300 --> 01:05:20,333 HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A COUNSELOR BEFORE? 1299 01:05:20,333 --> 01:05:21,367 IS THIS YOUR FIRST TIME? 1300 01:05:21,367 --> 01:05:22,733 IT'S THE FIRST TIME. OKAY. 1301 01:05:22,733 --> 01:05:26,067 TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT 1302 01:05:26,067 --> 01:05:29,733 OR EXPECT OUT OF THESE COUNSELING SESSIONS. 1303 01:05:29,733 --> 01:05:31,067 [ SIGHS ] 1304 01:05:31,067 --> 01:05:33,867 I WANT TO NOT BE SO ANGRY, BECAUSE EVEN DAVID -- 1305 01:05:33,867 --> 01:05:35,933 HE'LL TELL ME ALL THE TIME, "YOU'RE SUCH AN AWESOME WOMAN, 1306 01:05:35,933 --> 01:05:40,133 BUT YOUR ANGER -- YOUR ATTITUDE GETS SO BAD." 1307 01:05:40,133 --> 01:05:42,500 I NEED TO FORGIVE. 1308 01:05:42,500 --> 01:05:44,300 AND I WANT TO BE ABLE TO HELP OTHERS 1309 01:05:44,300 --> 01:05:47,667 WHO HAVE BEEN WHERE I'VE BEEN OR WHO ARE WHERE I'VE BEEN. 1310 01:05:47,667 --> 01:05:50,767 SO, TANISHA, MY FIRST QUESTION 1311 01:05:50,767 --> 01:05:53,500 THAT MAY SEEM A LITTLE INVASIVE IS, 1312 01:05:53,500 --> 01:05:55,600 HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED? 1313 01:05:55,600 --> 01:05:56,600 YES. OKAY. 1314 01:05:56,600 --> 01:05:58,433 AND HOW LONG DID THAT LAST? 1315 01:05:58,433 --> 01:06:03,433 FROM LIKE 7 TO MAYBE 16, 17? 1316 01:06:03,433 --> 01:06:04,900 THAT WAS A VERY LONG TIME. 1317 01:06:04,900 --> 01:06:06,767 A VERY LONG TIME. 1318 01:06:06,767 --> 01:06:09,333 WAS THAT A FAMILY MEMBER? 1319 01:06:10,900 --> 01:06:12,600 ONE WAS ACTUALLY BLOOD. 1320 01:06:12,600 --> 01:06:16,900 THE OTHER ONE WAS ONE OF MY MOTHER'S BOYFRIENDS AT THE TIME. 1321 01:06:16,900 --> 01:06:19,833 AND THAT'S HARD TO DEAL WITH AS A LITTLE GIRL. 1322 01:06:19,833 --> 01:06:23,133 FAMILY MEMBERS WERE YOUR ABUSERS. 1323 01:06:23,133 --> 01:06:27,267 CAN I ASK YOU WHO THOSE ABUSERS WERE? 1324 01:06:27,267 --> 01:06:29,467 [ SIGHS ] 1325 01:06:29,467 --> 01:06:33,067 ONE OF THE MAIN WAS MY GRANDFATHER. 1326 01:06:33,067 --> 01:06:35,500 SO, THE GRANDFATHER ABUSE WENT ON FOR A LONG TIME? 1327 01:06:35,500 --> 01:06:37,833 OH, THAT WAS YEARS, 1328 01:06:37,833 --> 01:06:39,733 AND THAT'S WHEN I REALLY STARTED PICKING UP, 1329 01:06:39,733 --> 01:06:41,300 YOU KNOW, WITH THE FOOD. 1330 01:06:41,300 --> 01:06:43,767 IT WAS JUST LIKE EAT WHATEVER I WANTED. 1331 01:06:43,767 --> 01:06:48,400 HOW DID YOU HANDLE TRYING TO STAY AWAY FROM HIM? 1332 01:06:48,400 --> 01:06:52,367 IT WAS REALLY HARD BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE, 1333 01:06:52,367 --> 01:06:54,067 YOU KNOW, MY PRIMARY RESIDENCE WAS. 1334 01:06:54,067 --> 01:06:55,700 AND SO IT WAS LIKE HOW DO YOU ESCAPE IT, 1335 01:06:55,700 --> 01:06:57,733 YOU KNOW, BESIDES RUNNING THE STREETS? 1336 01:06:57,733 --> 01:06:59,267 AND THAT'S WHAT I DID. 1337 01:06:59,267 --> 01:07:02,167 I FELT LIKE IF I'M GOING TO BE, 1338 01:07:02,167 --> 01:07:03,767 YOU KNOW, TOUCHED IN WHATEVER WAY, 1339 01:07:03,767 --> 01:07:06,700 THEN I'M GOING TO CHOOSE WHO I WANT TO DO IT. 1340 01:07:06,700 --> 01:07:08,567 JUST TRYING DIFFERENT THINGS WITH ANYBODY -- 1341 01:07:08,567 --> 01:07:11,133 UNPROTECTED SEX WITH ANY AND EVERYBODY. 1342 01:07:11,133 --> 01:07:14,300 YOU KNOW, I COULD REMEMBER ALL THAT, AND I'M LIKE, "MAN. 1343 01:07:14,300 --> 01:07:16,900 YOU KNOW, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING BACK THEN?" 1344 01:07:16,900 --> 01:07:20,367 I'VE DONE SO MUCH. OH, MY GOD. 1345 01:07:20,367 --> 01:07:23,600 WELL, THE THING ABOUT BEING SEXUALLY ABUSED 1346 01:07:23,600 --> 01:07:27,067 IS THAT SOME MANY TIMES, THERE'S MANY, 1347 01:07:27,067 --> 01:07:30,600 MANY DIFFERENT CHARACTER DEFECTS THAT COME FROM THAT. 1348 01:07:30,600 --> 01:07:32,667 EATING ADDICTION COMES ALONG WITH THAT. 1349 01:07:32,667 --> 01:07:36,233 IT'S THE COMFORT FOOD. IT'S SOOTHING TO YOU. 1350 01:07:36,233 --> 01:07:39,367 AND INAPPROPRIATE EXPRESSED SEXUALITY, THOUGH, 1351 01:07:39,367 --> 01:07:41,933 GOES WITH THE SEXUAL ABUSE, AS WELL. 1352 01:07:41,933 --> 01:07:46,533 WHEN YOU'RE TAUGHT THAT SEX IS SOMETHING THAT'S OKAY TO DO 1353 01:07:46,533 --> 01:07:49,633 BY SOMEONE THAT CLAIMS TO LOVE YOU, 1354 01:07:49,633 --> 01:07:53,433 THEN YOU BEGIN TO THINK THAT SEX EQUALS LOVE. 1355 01:07:53,433 --> 01:07:55,700 EVEN THOUGH THAT YOU KNOW IT'S WRONG, 1356 01:07:55,700 --> 01:07:58,067 IF GRANDPA DOES IT, IT MUST BE OKAY. 1357 01:07:58,067 --> 01:08:02,633 SO, I WANT YOU TO BEGIN TO WORK ON FORGIVENESS IN YOURSELF 1358 01:08:02,633 --> 01:08:05,567 AND GETTING RID OF SOME OF THAT GUILT AND SHAME 1359 01:08:05,567 --> 01:08:09,067 BECAUSE ALL THOSE DIFFERENT PARTNERS THAT YOU HAD 1360 01:08:09,067 --> 01:08:11,500 WHEN YOU WERE BEING PROMISCUOUS 1361 01:08:11,500 --> 01:08:14,567 WAS SIMPLY A CRY FOR HELP, REALLY. 1362 01:08:14,567 --> 01:08:17,133 OKAY. WHAT WE HAVE TO WORK ON DOING 1363 01:08:17,133 --> 01:08:20,533 IS BRINGING YOU INTO A PLACE OF ACCEPTANCE 1364 01:08:20,533 --> 01:08:24,067 SO THAT YOU CAN MOVE FORWARD IN YOUR OWN LIFE. 1365 01:08:24,067 --> 01:08:27,067 SO TELL ME ABOUT, YOU KNOW, YOUR EATING. 1366 01:08:27,067 --> 01:08:29,533 DO YOU TRY TO EAT JUST THREE MEALS A DAY? 1367 01:08:29,533 --> 01:08:30,767 WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE? 1368 01:08:30,767 --> 01:08:32,433 I'M NOT A BREAKFAST PERSON. I DON'T DO LUNCH. 1369 01:08:32,433 --> 01:08:34,333 IT'S THE LATE-NIGHT EATING. 1370 01:08:34,333 --> 01:08:38,700 DID A LOT OF YOUR ABUSE HAPPEN AT NIGHTTIME? 1371 01:08:38,700 --> 01:08:41,067 IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, THINGS LIKE THAT, YEAH. 1372 01:08:41,067 --> 01:08:42,767 AND THAT BECOMES A TRIGGER. 1373 01:08:42,767 --> 01:08:45,633 YOU BEGIN TO DEVELOP A FEAR OF NIGHTTIME, 1374 01:08:45,633 --> 01:08:47,767 SO WHEN THE SUN BEGINS TO GO DOWN, 1375 01:08:47,767 --> 01:08:51,567 THEN YOUR BODY BECOMES ON FULL ALERT. 1376 01:08:51,567 --> 01:08:54,333 AND WHAT I WANT YOU TO START DOING 1377 01:08:54,333 --> 01:08:58,167 IS I WANT YOU TO TRY TO GET ON A GOOD SLEEP PATTERN, 1378 01:08:58,167 --> 01:09:01,267 AND THAT'S GONNA BE YOUR VERY FIRST HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT, 1379 01:09:01,267 --> 01:09:02,533 IF YOU WILL. 1380 01:09:02,533 --> 01:09:04,067 WE CAN BEGIN THIS JOURNEY 1381 01:09:04,067 --> 01:09:07,367 AND GET YOU TO A PLACE OF HEALTHY TANISHA. 1382 01:09:07,367 --> 01:09:09,200 I WANT TO GET RID OF ALL THIS, 1383 01:09:09,200 --> 01:09:11,200 'CAUSE I NEED TO BE ABLE TO MOVE FORWARD, YOU KNOW? 1384 01:09:11,200 --> 01:09:13,733 OBESITY RUNS IN THE FAMILY, RIGHT? 1385 01:09:13,733 --> 01:09:14,933 YES. 1386 01:09:14,933 --> 01:09:17,267 SO THAT'S A GENERATIONAL CURSE IN YOUR FAMILY, THEN. 1387 01:09:17,267 --> 01:09:19,133 WELL, YOU'RE GONNA BE THE ONE TO BREAK THAT. 1388 01:09:19,133 --> 01:09:21,200 [ CHUCKLES ] YEAH. TANISHA, IT WAS REALLY, REALLY, 1389 01:09:21,200 --> 01:09:24,133 REALLY GREAT TO MEET YOU TODAY. IT WAS AWESOME TO MEET YOU. 1390 01:09:24,133 --> 01:09:28,233 I LOOK FORWARD TO WORKING WITH YOU MORE. 1391 01:09:28,233 --> 01:09:31,633 I'M GLAD I OPENED UP TODAY. 1392 01:09:31,633 --> 01:09:34,900 I KNOW THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS I HAVE TO DEAL WITH 1393 01:09:34,900 --> 01:09:38,233 TO START TO HEAL FROM A LIFETIME OF PAIN, 1394 01:09:38,233 --> 01:09:40,867 AND I KNOW I HAVE TO GET SERIOUS ABOUT DOING THINGS 1395 01:09:40,867 --> 01:09:43,600 I DON'T WANT TO DO SO THAT I CAN START TO CHANGE... 1396 01:09:46,633 --> 01:09:50,367 ...BECAUSE IF I DON'T, I KNOW I'M GONNA FAIL AGAIN. 1397 01:09:59,067 --> 01:10:02,633 ** 1398 01:10:15,567 --> 01:10:17,800 Tanisha: TODAY, I'M HEADED BACK TO THE CLINIC 1399 01:10:17,800 --> 01:10:20,133 TO SEE DR. NOWZARADAN AGAIN. 1400 01:10:20,133 --> 01:10:23,667 ** 1401 01:10:23,667 --> 01:10:26,300 IT'S BEEN OVER A YEAR AND A HALF I'VE TRYING TO PROVE TO HIM 1402 01:10:26,300 --> 01:10:28,300 I'M READY FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY... 1403 01:10:28,300 --> 01:10:31,500 ** 1404 01:10:32,900 --> 01:10:34,433 ...AND I'VE BEEN WORKING HARDER 1405 01:10:34,433 --> 01:10:37,667 THAN I EVER HAVE THIS PAST MONTH. 1406 01:10:37,667 --> 01:10:39,800 I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DEAL WITH MY EMOTIONS 1407 01:10:39,800 --> 01:10:41,833 IN WAYS THAT DON'T INVOLVE FOOD 1408 01:10:41,833 --> 01:10:44,267 LIKE I TALKED ABOUT WITH THE THERAPIST 1409 01:10:44,267 --> 01:10:47,367 SO THAT I CAN BEGIN TO MAKE CHANGES 1410 01:10:47,367 --> 01:10:50,500 AND TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY FOR MYSELF. 1411 01:10:50,500 --> 01:10:53,400 I KNOW I HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO, BUT I'M HOPING 1412 01:10:53,400 --> 01:10:56,167 I LOST THE 30 POUNDS I WAS SUPPOSED TO LOSE 1413 01:10:56,167 --> 01:10:57,500 AND HIT MY GOAL. 1414 01:11:03,467 --> 01:11:07,067 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. 1415 01:11:07,067 --> 01:11:09,233 I'M REALLY GLAD I HIT MY GOAL, 1416 01:11:09,233 --> 01:11:11,833 AND I'M EXCITED FOR THE DOCTOR TO SEE THAT. 1417 01:11:11,833 --> 01:11:13,900 ** 1418 01:11:13,900 --> 01:11:16,233 BUT MY EXPECTATIONS ARE LOW RIGHT NOW 1419 01:11:16,233 --> 01:11:19,133 THAT HE'LL APPROVE ME FOR SURGERY 1420 01:11:19,133 --> 01:11:21,833 BECAUSE I'VE LET HIM DOWN SO MANY TIMES. 1421 01:11:21,833 --> 01:11:25,900 BUT I KNOW I NEED THIS SURGERY. 1422 01:11:25,900 --> 01:11:27,733 IT'S HARD DOING IT BY MYSELF, 1423 01:11:27,733 --> 01:11:29,733 AND I KNOW I NEED THIS TO HELP ME OUT. 1424 01:11:29,733 --> 01:11:32,200 HELLO. HEY, DR. NOW. 1425 01:11:32,200 --> 01:11:34,300 HOW ARE YOU DOING? I'M OKAY. 1426 01:11:34,300 --> 01:11:36,533 HOW ARE YOU? YOU'RE JUST OKAY, 1427 01:11:36,533 --> 01:11:39,367 BUT YOU LOST 34 POUNDS THIS MONTH. 1428 01:11:39,367 --> 01:11:41,867 YOU MADE GOOD PROGRESS. YOU'RE NOT EXCITED ABOUT THAT? 1429 01:11:41,867 --> 01:11:43,233 [ CHUCKLES ] THAT'S FINE. 1430 01:11:43,233 --> 01:11:46,767 I MEAN, ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN NOTHING. 1431 01:11:46,767 --> 01:11:50,367 DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK YOU TO DO THIS? 1432 01:11:50,367 --> 01:11:54,100 THIS IS THE FIRST TIME WE SAW YOU. 1433 01:11:54,100 --> 01:11:55,533 LOOK AT THE DATE. 1434 01:11:55,533 --> 01:11:56,600 OKAY? MM-HMM. 1435 01:11:56,600 --> 01:11:57,833 SEE WHAT YOU WEIGHED? 1436 01:11:57,833 --> 01:11:59,200 MM-HMM. 1437 01:11:59,200 --> 01:12:01,967 NOW YOU'RE 568. 1438 01:12:01,967 --> 01:12:04,800 YOU LOST OVER 30 POUNDS THIS LAST MONTH. 1439 01:12:04,800 --> 01:12:07,667 THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO SEE FROM YOU. 1440 01:12:07,667 --> 01:12:09,333 OKAY. SO, WITH THAT, 1441 01:12:09,333 --> 01:12:11,400 I THINK YOU'RE READY FOR SLEEVE GASTRECTOMY 1442 01:12:11,400 --> 01:12:15,067 TO CONTINUE YOUR WEIGHT-LOSS JOURNEY. 1443 01:12:15,067 --> 01:12:16,733 OKAY. GOOD JOB, TANISHA. 1444 01:12:16,733 --> 01:12:19,267 KEEP MAKING PROGRESS, AND I'LL SEE YOU SOON. 1445 01:12:19,267 --> 01:12:21,633 ALL RIGHT. 1446 01:12:21,633 --> 01:12:24,800 TANISHA HAS CERTAINLY HAD HER UPS AND DOWNS, 1447 01:12:24,800 --> 01:12:27,667 BUT SHE FINALLY HIT HER WEIGHT-LOSS GOAL 1448 01:12:27,667 --> 01:12:29,867 AND WENT TO A THERAPIST. 1449 01:12:29,867 --> 01:12:32,800 AND I FEEL CONFIDENT THAT SHE'S WILLING 1450 01:12:32,800 --> 01:12:36,100 TO FINALLY WORK HARD AND STOP MAKING EXCUSES. 1451 01:12:36,100 --> 01:12:37,667 SO I'M COMFORTABLE 1452 01:12:37,667 --> 01:12:40,867 APPROVING HER FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. 1453 01:12:40,867 --> 01:12:42,800 Tanisha: I'M IN SHOCK RIGHT NOW. 1454 01:12:45,267 --> 01:12:46,700 I'M FEELING PRETTY GOOD 1455 01:12:46,700 --> 01:12:50,633 ABOUT BEING APPROVED FOR THE SURGERY. 1456 01:12:50,633 --> 01:12:54,067 I'VE BEEN BATTLING THIS WEIGHT LOSS UP AND DOWN. 1457 01:12:54,067 --> 01:12:56,333 I'VE BEEN YO-YOING UP AND DOWN, 1458 01:12:56,333 --> 01:12:58,533 AND I KNOW THAT I CAN'T DO IT ON MY OWN. 1459 01:12:58,533 --> 01:13:00,533 SO TO HEAR DR. NOW SAY, YOU KNOW, 1460 01:13:00,533 --> 01:13:02,467 THAT HE'S GONNA AT LEAST TAKE A CHANCE 1461 01:13:02,467 --> 01:13:05,533 AND TRY TO DO THE SLEEVE ON ME, THAT'S EXCITING. 1462 01:13:05,533 --> 01:13:08,900 YOU KNOW, THAT'S SOMETHING THAT I NEED. 1463 01:13:08,900 --> 01:13:11,167 SO, I'M HAPPY RIGHT NOW. 1464 01:13:11,167 --> 01:13:14,500 ** 1465 01:13:28,533 --> 01:13:31,067 I'M SO NERVOUS RIGHT NOW. 1466 01:13:31,067 --> 01:13:33,167 ** 1467 01:13:33,167 --> 01:13:35,367 MOST OF MY FAMILY CAN'T BE HERE, 1468 01:13:35,367 --> 01:13:39,433 EXCEPT MY COUSIN CHADSIDY, BECAUSE EVERYONE HAD TO WORK. 1469 01:13:39,433 --> 01:13:42,567 AND I JUST WISH I HAD MY WHOLE FAMILY HERE. 1470 01:13:42,567 --> 01:13:44,200 ** 1471 01:13:44,200 --> 01:13:46,967 WHAT YOU CRYING FOR? ME AND MY MAMA -- 1472 01:13:46,967 --> 01:13:48,267 WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING THIS TOGETHER, 1473 01:13:48,267 --> 01:13:50,867 SO I JUST KEEP -- JUST KEEP THINKING ABOUT, 1474 01:13:50,867 --> 01:13:52,967 YOU KNOW... 1475 01:13:52,967 --> 01:13:55,400 I JUST HATE THAT SHE PASSED AWAY BEFORE I -- 1476 01:13:55,400 --> 01:13:57,067 YOU KNOW, THIS DAY COULD COME. 1477 01:13:57,067 --> 01:13:59,267 IT'S A LITTLE SAD. 1478 01:13:59,267 --> 01:14:01,367 SHE WON'T BE ABLE TO SEE ME 1479 01:14:01,367 --> 01:14:03,433 MAKING SOMETHING OUT OF MYSELF. 1480 01:14:04,967 --> 01:14:10,133 ASIDE FROM MY C-SECTIONS, I'VE NEVER HAD SURGERY. 1481 01:14:10,133 --> 01:14:12,867 SO THIS IS REALLY SCARY 1482 01:14:12,867 --> 01:14:15,167 BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TODAY. 1483 01:14:15,167 --> 01:14:19,500 BUT IF I CHANGE MY MIND AND QUIT NOW, 1484 01:14:19,500 --> 01:14:22,533 THEN I KNOW MY FATE IS SEALED. 1485 01:14:22,533 --> 01:14:28,600 BUT I HAVE TOO MUCH TO LIVE FOR, SO I HAVE TO DO THIS. 1486 01:14:32,367 --> 01:14:37,800 Dr. Nowzaradan: TODAY, I'M ATTEMPTING TO DO A SLEEVE GASTRECTOMY ON TANISHA. 1487 01:14:37,800 --> 01:14:40,433 HOPEFULLY, THIS WILL HELP TANISHA 1488 01:14:40,433 --> 01:14:43,567 TO BE ABLE TO CONTROL HER EATING HABIT. 1489 01:14:47,200 --> 01:14:52,200 MY BIGGEST CONCERN RIGHT NOW IS HER TWO PAST C-SECTIONS. 1490 01:14:52,200 --> 01:14:55,067 ROOM LIGHTS OFF. 1491 01:14:55,067 --> 01:14:59,067 THAT CAN TAKE A LOT TO GET PAST OR MAY PREVENT US 1492 01:14:59,067 --> 01:15:03,733 FROM BEING ABLE TO DO THE OPERATION. 1493 01:15:03,733 --> 01:15:07,333 FOR A SUPER MORBID OBESE PATIENT, 1494 01:15:07,333 --> 01:15:09,667 WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY IS GOING TO BE 1495 01:15:09,667 --> 01:15:13,200 THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT. 1496 01:15:13,200 --> 01:15:17,633 DURING GASTRIC SLEEVE OPERATION, WE REMOVE APPROXIMATELY 1497 01:15:17,633 --> 01:15:22,700 70% TO 80% OF STOMACH THROUGH A SMALL INCISION. 1498 01:15:22,700 --> 01:15:24,967 MOVE THAT. OKAY. 1499 01:15:24,967 --> 01:15:26,733 RIGHT THERE. 1500 01:15:26,733 --> 01:15:29,400 AFTER WE REMOVE THE MAJORITY OF THE STOMACH... 1501 01:15:34,333 --> 01:15:37,667 ...WHICH LIMITS THE AMOUNT THAT THEY CAN EAT AT ONE TIME. 1502 01:15:37,667 --> 01:15:40,800 ** 1503 01:15:40,800 --> 01:15:42,467 Chadsidy: TANISHA MEANS A LOT TO ME. 1504 01:15:42,467 --> 01:15:45,067 SHE'S LIKE MY SECOND MOM. 1505 01:15:45,067 --> 01:15:46,733 AND I KNOW THERE'S ALWAYS THE POSSIBILITY 1506 01:15:46,733 --> 01:15:49,800 THAT SHE WON'T COME TO WITH THE ANESTHESIA, 1507 01:15:49,800 --> 01:15:55,300 BUT I HAVE TRUST THAT GOD IS GONNA PULL TANISHA THROUGH THIS. 1508 01:15:55,300 --> 01:15:58,233 HOLD IT RIGHT THERE. 1509 01:15:59,267 --> 01:16:01,333 Dr. Nowzaradan: THIS IS A LITTLE BIT MORE DIFFICULT 1510 01:16:01,333 --> 01:16:04,467 WITH THE SCARRING THAN I WOULD PREFER. 1511 01:16:04,467 --> 01:16:08,133 SO I'M NOT SURE HOW MUCH I'M GONNA BE ABLE TO DO. 1512 01:16:08,133 --> 01:16:10,233 LIGHT OVER HERE. 1513 01:16:10,233 --> 01:16:13,400 PULL BACK THAT WAY. 1514 01:16:13,400 --> 01:16:18,167 ** 1515 01:16:18,167 --> 01:16:20,400 OKAY. I'M CLEAR NOW. 1516 01:16:23,067 --> 01:16:27,200 OKAY. WE WILL START TO SUTURE HER. 1517 01:16:27,200 --> 01:16:28,400 ALMOST DONE. 1518 01:16:28,400 --> 01:16:32,233 ** 1519 01:16:32,233 --> 01:16:34,467 AND WE'RE FINISHED. 1520 01:16:34,467 --> 01:16:35,867 ALL RIGHT. 1521 01:16:35,867 --> 01:16:41,267 TANISHA'S SURGERY'S OVER, AND SHE DID VERY WELL. 1522 01:16:41,267 --> 01:16:44,667 BUT SHE HAD A LOT OF ADHESIONS FROM PREVIOUS C-SECTIONS, 1523 01:16:44,667 --> 01:16:47,267 SO IT TOOK A LONG TIME TO TAKE THOSE DOWN, 1524 01:16:47,267 --> 01:16:50,200 BUT OTHERWISE, SHE'S DOING OKAY. 1525 01:16:50,200 --> 01:16:52,533 TANISHA'S JUST BEGUN TO WORK THROUGH 1526 01:16:52,533 --> 01:16:55,700 SOME OF HER EMOTIONAL ISSUES. 1527 01:16:55,700 --> 01:17:00,167 BUT NOW THAT SHE'S PHYSICALLY UNABLE TO OVEREAT, 1528 01:17:00,167 --> 01:17:02,433 IN THE NEAR FUTURE, SHE'LL BE FORCED 1529 01:17:02,433 --> 01:17:06,467 TO DEAL WITH THE THINGS IN A MUCH BIGGER WAY. 1530 01:17:06,467 --> 01:17:09,800 SO SHE'S GOING TO HAVE A FEW DIFFICULT MONTHS, 1531 01:17:09,800 --> 01:17:13,067 BUT WE'RE GOING HELP HER KEEP MAKING PROGRESS 1532 01:17:13,067 --> 01:17:18,067 SO SHE DOESN'T START GAINING AGAIN. 1533 01:17:18,067 --> 01:17:19,933 Nurse: JUST GAVE YOU SOME MORE MEDICINE, OKAY? 1534 01:17:19,933 --> 01:17:22,600 GIVE IT A FEW MINUTES TO WORK. 1535 01:17:22,600 --> 01:17:26,267 IF SHE DOES, SHE HAS USED ALL HER CHANCES, 1536 01:17:26,267 --> 01:17:29,067 AND THERE IS NOTHING MORE WE CAN DO TO HELP HER. 1537 01:17:34,967 --> 01:17:37,700 ** 1538 01:17:54,367 --> 01:17:57,533 Tanisha: IT'S BEEN A HARD MONTH. 1539 01:17:57,533 --> 01:17:59,533 AFTER I GOT HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL, 1540 01:17:59,533 --> 01:18:03,233 IT TOOK ME A BIT TO GET MY ENERGY BACK 1541 01:18:03,233 --> 01:18:07,733 BECAUSE I WAS HARDLY EATING AND ALL MY CRAVINGS WERE GONE. 1542 01:18:07,733 --> 01:18:10,067 BUT I'M FEELING LIKE I'M DOING BETTER NOW, 1543 01:18:10,067 --> 01:18:11,800 AND I'M STAYING ACTIVE DOING THINGS 1544 01:18:11,800 --> 01:18:13,900 AND TAKING CARE OF MY HOUSE. 1545 01:18:13,900 --> 01:18:17,567 ** 1546 01:18:17,567 --> 01:18:21,533 THE MOST CHALLENGING PART IS THE STANDING FOR ME. 1547 01:18:21,533 --> 01:18:24,600 I'M SO USED TO SITTING OR RELYING ON THE WHEELCHAIR, 1548 01:18:24,600 --> 01:18:26,767 YOU KNOW, SO THE STANDING FOR A LONG PERIOD OF TIME 1549 01:18:26,767 --> 01:18:29,467 IS REALLY CHALLENGING. 1550 01:18:29,467 --> 01:18:34,100 NOT WANTING TO GO BACK TO BEING DEPENDENT ON OTHERS, 1551 01:18:34,100 --> 01:18:36,433 BEING RESTRICTED FROM ENJOYING LIFE, 1552 01:18:36,433 --> 01:18:39,500 AND THINGS WITH MY CHILDREN, AND JUST THINGS FOR MYSELF. 1553 01:18:39,500 --> 01:18:41,067 THAT'S WHAT KEEPS ME GOING. 1554 01:18:41,067 --> 01:18:42,767 WHEN I WANT A SNACK, THAT'S WHAT'S KEEPING ME FROM SAYING, 1555 01:18:42,767 --> 01:18:44,267 "NO," YOU KNOW, "DON'T TOUCH THAT. 1556 01:18:44,267 --> 01:18:45,800 DON'T GO TO THE CHIPS," YOU KNOW, 1557 01:18:45,800 --> 01:18:48,733 "GRAB A SALAD OR SOMETHING." SO, I THINK ABOUT THOSE THINGS. 1558 01:18:48,733 --> 01:18:52,300 ** 1559 01:18:54,100 --> 01:18:55,767 GETTING THIS SURGERY IS THE MIRACLE 1560 01:18:55,767 --> 01:18:57,733 THAT I'VE PRAYED FOR FOR SO LONG. 1561 01:18:57,733 --> 01:18:59,900 SO I DON'T WANT TO MESS UP 1562 01:18:59,900 --> 01:19:02,433 AT THIS STAGE OF THE GAME RIGHT NOW, 1563 01:19:02,433 --> 01:19:03,700 AND I DON'T WANT 1564 01:19:03,700 --> 01:19:06,067 THE POSITIVE CHANGE THAT'S HAPPENING IN MY LIFE 1565 01:19:06,067 --> 01:19:08,200 TO BE SOMETHING THAT'S INDEPENDENT FROM MY FAMILY. 1566 01:19:08,200 --> 01:19:11,767 ** 1567 01:19:11,767 --> 01:19:15,833 WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO DO SO MUCH MORE TOGETHER, 1568 01:19:15,833 --> 01:19:18,400 AND I'M REALLY EXCITED BECAUSE TODAY, 1569 01:19:18,400 --> 01:19:20,467 I'M TAKING MY GIRLS TO HAVE A SPA DAY 1570 01:19:20,467 --> 01:19:22,733 AND GET OUR NAILS AND OUR MAKEUP DONE. 1571 01:19:22,733 --> 01:19:24,100 HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY? 1572 01:19:24,100 --> 01:19:25,667 -PERFECT. -HI. 1573 01:19:25,667 --> 01:19:27,067 Tanisha: I LOVE GOING OUT WITH THE GIRLS. 1574 01:19:27,067 --> 01:19:28,333 I LOVE BEING FREE NOW 1575 01:19:28,333 --> 01:19:30,667 AND NOT JUST BEING ALL BOXED UP IN THE HOUSE, 1576 01:19:30,667 --> 01:19:32,333 SO IT FEELS REALLY GOOD TO GET OUT. 1577 01:19:32,333 --> 01:19:35,067 ARE YOU NERVOUS? IS THIS YOUR FIRST MANICURE? 1578 01:19:35,067 --> 01:19:37,333 YES. [ CHUCKLES ] 1579 01:19:37,333 --> 01:19:39,267 RELAX, RELAX! 1580 01:19:41,500 --> 01:19:44,800 SO, WHAT COLOR DID YOU PICK? 1581 01:19:44,800 --> 01:19:46,133 Woman: PORT. 1582 01:19:46,133 --> 01:19:48,433 OH, IT'S PORT. PORT. 1583 01:19:48,433 --> 01:19:49,800 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 1584 01:19:49,800 --> 01:19:53,167 IT'S FUN SPENDING TIME WITH MY FAMILY, 1585 01:19:53,167 --> 01:19:55,400 'CAUSE WE USUALLY DON'T GET TO DO THAT. 1586 01:19:59,567 --> 01:20:01,133 Tanisha: I'M GOING TO MAKE IT TO MY GOAL 1587 01:20:01,133 --> 01:20:04,967 AND BECOME THE MOM I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE. 1588 01:20:04,967 --> 01:20:08,600 EACH DAY, I'M ABLE TO DO MORE AND MORE, 1589 01:20:08,600 --> 01:20:11,167 AND IT'S BEEN REALLY GOOD FOR MY RELATIONSHIP 1590 01:20:11,167 --> 01:20:14,867 WITH MY FAMILY, ESPECIALLY WITH MALAYZHA. 1591 01:20:14,867 --> 01:20:17,267 ** 1592 01:20:21,000 --> 01:20:24,967 AND RECENTLY, SHE STARTED OPENING UP TO ME. 1593 01:20:24,967 --> 01:20:27,600 WHAT'S THE MATTER? 1594 01:20:27,600 --> 01:20:31,600 OKAY, UM... 1595 01:20:31,600 --> 01:20:35,833 I GUESS WHEN YOU STARTED GAINING WEIGHT, I SORT OF FELT BAD, 1596 01:20:35,833 --> 01:20:38,833 'CAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS MY FAULT. 1597 01:20:38,833 --> 01:20:41,067 WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT IT WAS YOUR FAULT? 1598 01:20:41,067 --> 01:20:44,833 ** 1599 01:20:44,833 --> 01:20:46,533 HEY, WHAT? 1600 01:20:46,533 --> 01:20:48,900 GUESS I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHY. 1601 01:20:48,900 --> 01:20:51,533 MAYBE 'CAUSE YOU'VE HEARD SO MANY STORIES 1602 01:20:51,533 --> 01:20:55,200 OF WHEN I GOT PREGNANT WITH YOU, IS THAT WHY? 1603 01:20:55,200 --> 01:20:57,200 THAT MAY BE WHY, BUT IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT. 1604 01:20:57,200 --> 01:20:59,433 I CHOSE TO HAVE YOU. I KNEW THE RISKS 1605 01:20:59,433 --> 01:21:02,067 AND THE COMPLICATIONS THAT I WOULD FACE 1606 01:21:02,067 --> 01:21:04,933 BY BEING PREGNANT WITH YOU AND BY HAVING YOU, 1607 01:21:04,933 --> 01:21:06,467 AND I STILL CHOSE TO DO IT. 1608 01:21:06,467 --> 01:21:09,067 SO WHATEVER HAPPENED, THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. 1609 01:21:09,067 --> 01:21:10,200 THAT'S ON ME. 1610 01:21:10,200 --> 01:21:12,833 SO YOU SHOULD NEVER FEEL BAD ABOUT THAT. 1611 01:21:12,833 --> 01:21:15,667 I FEEL BAD BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, 1612 01:21:15,667 --> 01:21:18,267 I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO BE A MOTHER TO YOU 1613 01:21:18,267 --> 01:21:21,067 AND YOUR SISTER LIKE I WOULD WANT TO BE. 1614 01:21:21,067 --> 01:21:22,833 SHE JUST TOLD ME THAT I'M NOT THE REASON 1615 01:21:22,833 --> 01:21:27,067 THAT SHE'S OVERWEIGHT, AND SHE DID MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. 1616 01:21:27,067 --> 01:21:31,533 AND I AM EXCITED FOR EVERYTHING THAT SHE'S GOING TO DO WITH ME. 1617 01:21:31,533 --> 01:21:33,133 ARE YOU OKAY NOW THAT WE'VE TALKED? 1618 01:21:33,133 --> 01:21:35,133 FEELING GOOD? MM-HMM. 1619 01:21:35,133 --> 01:21:36,800 HIGH TENS? 1620 01:21:36,800 --> 01:21:38,333 HIGH TEN! 1621 01:21:38,333 --> 01:21:39,800 Tanisha: I KNOW MY STRUGGLES WITH MY WEIGHT 1622 01:21:39,800 --> 01:21:43,233 HAVE INFLUENCED MY CHILDREN TO FOLLOW ON MY PATH 1623 01:21:43,233 --> 01:21:46,700 LIKE I'VE BEEN FOLLOWING ON MY MOM'S PATH, 1624 01:21:46,700 --> 01:21:50,067 AND I WANT TO BREAK THAT CYCLE NOW. 1625 01:21:50,067 --> 01:21:51,967 I DON'T WANT THERE TO EVEN BE A CHANCE 1626 01:21:51,967 --> 01:21:54,867 THAT MY GIRLS COULD END UP ON THE SAME PATH AS ME, 1627 01:21:54,867 --> 01:21:58,600 SO I WANT US TO MAKE THIS CHANGE AS A FAMILY. 1628 01:21:58,600 --> 01:22:01,900 I'M GRATEFUL THAT I'VE HAD YOU GUYS, 1629 01:22:01,900 --> 01:22:03,433 'CAUSE A LOT OF TIMES, 1630 01:22:03,433 --> 01:22:05,433 IF IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN FOR Y'ALL, 1631 01:22:05,433 --> 01:22:08,267 I PROBABLY WOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE. 1632 01:22:08,267 --> 01:22:12,533 SO Y'ALL IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE HAVE REALLY SAVED MY LIFE. 1633 01:22:12,533 --> 01:22:16,300 I WANT MALAYZHA TO KNOW THAT I APPRECIATE HER, I LOVE HER, 1634 01:22:16,300 --> 01:22:18,100 I COULD ASK FOR A BETTER SUPPORT SYSTEM. 1635 01:22:18,100 --> 01:22:21,067 THOSE DAYS OF HER ALWAYS HAVING TO HELP ME ARE OVER, 1636 01:22:21,067 --> 01:22:22,233 AND I'M VERY GRATEFUL. 1637 01:22:22,233 --> 01:22:24,967 BUT IT'S TIME FOR ME TO BE MOM NOW. 1638 01:22:24,967 --> 01:22:28,467 ANOTHER. [ SMOOCHING ] 1639 01:22:28,467 --> 01:22:31,767 I LOVE MY FAMILY, AND I'M DOING THIS ALL FOR THEM. 1640 01:22:31,767 --> 01:22:33,933 ** 1641 01:22:47,300 --> 01:22:49,367 I'M TRYING TO SERVE MORE AT CHURCH, 1642 01:22:49,367 --> 01:22:51,200 AND THEY'VE ASKED ME TO COME IN TO DISCUSS 1643 01:22:51,200 --> 01:22:52,733 A MORE ACTIVE ROLE WITH THEM. 1644 01:22:52,733 --> 01:22:54,333 HOW YOU DOING THIS MORNING? 1645 01:22:54,333 --> 01:22:55,933 ALL IS WELL. ALL IS WELL. 1646 01:22:55,933 --> 01:22:57,433 [ CHUCKLES ] ALL IS WELL. 1647 01:22:57,433 --> 01:22:59,333 ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. 1648 01:22:59,333 --> 01:23:01,167 [ GRUNTS ] I GOT A JOB FOR YOU. 1649 01:23:01,167 --> 01:23:04,067 YOU KNOW WE'RE GETTING READY TO START THE MISSION. 1650 01:23:04,067 --> 01:23:07,900 A MISSION, SIMPLY WHAT IT IS, IS TO GO OUT TO HELP OTHERS... 1651 01:23:07,900 --> 01:23:09,367 THAT'S RIGHT. ...BUT IN THE PROCESS, 1652 01:23:09,367 --> 01:23:11,700 WHEN YOU HELPING OTHERS, GOD GONNA BLESS YOU. 1653 01:23:11,700 --> 01:23:13,800 WE NEED A VICE PRESIDENT. 1654 01:23:13,800 --> 01:23:16,067 WILL YOU TAKE ON THAT ROLE? 1655 01:23:16,067 --> 01:23:17,167 WOW. 1656 01:23:17,167 --> 01:23:19,067 THIS IS LIKE MY DREAM JOB. 1657 01:23:19,067 --> 01:23:21,100 I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO HELP PEOPLE. 1658 01:23:21,100 --> 01:23:22,933 AND NOW THAT I'VE GONE THROUGH THIS, 1659 01:23:22,933 --> 01:23:24,467 IT'S LIKE I CAN HELP OTHERS NOW. 1660 01:23:24,467 --> 01:23:26,433 SO IT'S LIKE I'M JUST GONNA DEFINITELY PUSH HARDER 1661 01:23:26,433 --> 01:23:27,533 TO GET THIS DONE. 1662 01:23:27,533 --> 01:23:30,100 NOW, WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO DO IT? 1663 01:23:30,100 --> 01:23:32,600 [ LAUGHS ] YES. HOW CAN I SAY NO? 1664 01:23:32,600 --> 01:23:34,600 [ LAUGHS ] YOU CAN'T SAY NO. 1665 01:23:34,600 --> 01:23:37,267 I'VE HAD THIS GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO CHANGE MY LIFE, 1666 01:23:37,267 --> 01:23:41,200 SO I OWE IT TO OTHERS TO GIVE BACK AND TO HELP THEM. 1667 01:23:41,200 --> 01:23:43,067 SO... AMEN. 1668 01:23:43,067 --> 01:23:45,567 AMEN. [ LAUGHS ] 1669 01:23:55,367 --> 01:23:56,833 HI, HOW ARE YOU? HELLO. 1670 01:23:56,833 --> 01:23:57,833 HOW ARE YOU? GREAT. 1671 01:23:57,833 --> 01:23:59,333 MY NAME'S MARK. I'M TANISHA. 1672 01:23:59,333 --> 01:24:01,133 NICE TO MEET YOU, TANISHA. AND...? 1673 01:24:01,133 --> 01:24:02,800 Tanisha: TODAY, ME AND THE GIRLS ARE GOING TO THE PARK 1674 01:24:02,800 --> 01:24:05,200 TO TAKE SOME FAMILY PHOTOS. 1675 01:24:05,200 --> 01:24:07,200 OVER THE LAST FEW YEARS, 1676 01:24:07,200 --> 01:24:09,667 I HAVEN'T WANTED TO TAKE PICTURES OF MYSELF, 1677 01:24:09,667 --> 01:24:12,733 AND THAT MEANS I DON'T HAVE ANY PICTURES WITH THEM. 1678 01:24:12,733 --> 01:24:15,067 SO I WANTED TO CHANGE THAT. 1679 01:24:15,067 --> 01:24:17,833 I THINK AS TIME GOES ON, ME AND MY GIRLS -- 1680 01:24:17,833 --> 01:24:19,267 WE'LL JUST GET CLOSER. 1681 01:24:19,267 --> 01:24:21,067 YOU KNOW, I'LL BE ABLE TO DO MORE THINGS WITH THEM, 1682 01:24:21,067 --> 01:24:24,167 AND THAT'LL DRAW AN EVEN STRONGER BOND BETWEEN US. 1683 01:24:29,800 --> 01:24:32,067 JUST LIKE I WANT TO BE A BETTER MOM, 1684 01:24:32,067 --> 01:24:34,367 I WANT TO BE A BETTER GIRLFRIEND TO DAVID. 1685 01:24:34,367 --> 01:24:36,100 SOMETHING LOOK GOOD. Man: EXCELLENT. 1686 01:24:36,100 --> 01:24:37,333 HERE WE GO. ALL RIGHT. 1687 01:24:37,333 --> 01:24:39,833 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 1688 01:24:39,833 --> 01:24:42,067 Tanisha: A LOT OF THINGS HAVE CHANGED WITH THE WEIGHT LOSS. 1689 01:24:42,067 --> 01:24:44,600 I'M ABLE TO DO MORE, GOING OUT MORE, 1690 01:24:44,600 --> 01:24:46,833 JUST BEING ADVENTUROUS, JUST ENJOYING LIFE. 1691 01:24:46,833 --> 01:24:50,767 ** 1692 01:24:50,767 --> 01:24:52,267 YOU LIKE IT? 1693 01:24:53,467 --> 01:24:55,067 [ LAUGHS ] 1694 01:24:55,067 --> 01:24:58,100 I'M HAPPY ABOUT ALL THE CHANGES IN MY LIFE. 1695 01:24:58,100 --> 01:25:02,067 WHEN I STARTED THIS JOURNEY, I WASN'T SURE HOW IT WOULD GO, 1696 01:25:02,067 --> 01:25:05,167 AND I WAS DEFINITELY TAKING LONGER THAN I THOUGHT. 1697 01:25:05,167 --> 01:25:07,067 BUT NOW THAT I'M HERE LOOKING BACK, 1698 01:25:07,067 --> 01:25:10,367 I'M THANKFUL BEYOND WORDS FOR ALL THE HELP I'VE GOTTEN 1699 01:25:10,367 --> 01:25:12,300 AND ALL THE PROGRESS I'VE HAD. 1700 01:25:14,833 --> 01:25:17,433 GOD HAS BLESSED ME WITH ANOTHER CHANCE AT LIFE, 1701 01:25:17,433 --> 01:25:19,433 AND I'M GONNA TAKE IT. 1702 01:25:19,433 --> 01:25:20,667 David: YOU LOOK REALLY BEAUTIFUL TONIGHT. 1703 01:25:20,667 --> 01:25:22,500 THANK YOU, BABY. 1704 01:25:22,500 --> 01:25:24,067 YOU LOOK HANDSOME. 1705 01:25:24,067 --> 01:25:25,400 THANK YOU. 1706 01:25:25,400 --> 01:25:28,533 AND I'M NOT STOPPING FOR ANYTHING. 1707 01:25:28,533 --> 01:25:31,300 FOR THE FIRST TIME IN SO, SO LONG, 1708 01:25:31,300 --> 01:25:31,533 I HAVE HOPE.